How can you think that?

Siovampire's picture

Ok...so I've been lucky in my life. I've only ever met hostility about my sexuality MAYBE twice in my life. One of those times was when the parents of my BEST friend...best friends for almost 4 years...told met that I was forbidden to spend time with her in her room alone because I fell under the category of "boy". That was a slap in the face. I couldn't understand how these people who had known me for years, let me sleep over their house, eaten countless dinners with me, watched me and their daughter grow up together....treat me like that. Like I was going to rape their daughter the moment I had her alone!

I felt like...I'd been...betrayed....
But then things settled down...all was quiet and good. Then today, my other friend informs me that her mother has sort of been barring us from hanging out because she's "cautious" of me. RING RING RING! Alert! Alert! Lesbian! She saw a picture from my friend's sweet 16 where I had my arms around her and she took it as "OMG THAT GIRL WANTS TO DO MY DAUGHTER!!!"....I mean c'mon.....

The problem is that I DO like her...but I never said anything. And I never will....I've lost too many friends to that fateful moment...the moment when you utter the words "I like you...more than a friend".

Instant.
Death.

Whatever...I'm frustrated...and I didn't take my anti-depressants today...and yea.....so this stupid feeling of abyss isn't going away like it's supposed to!!!! URGGGGG

I'm sorry that I can't let her go...
and I'm sorry that I feel what I feel.