Okay...I'm going to explain what's been happening.
For quick bakround....last year I had lots of issues, I was reported, the long and short of it was that I would sometimes think of suicide.
Anyway, most of these thoughts had left me for a year. last year i thouhgt about getting a therapist but never did.
But they're coming back. Sometimes I think of drinking, smoking, or fucking someone not because I want to or any way feel ready but to drown out these fucking issues.
I feel like a freak.
I'm afraid that everything I'm thinking about I'm not supposed to think about. And I'm so scared.
Last night, I talked to one of my greatest comrades...a girl I tell everything to. And she said if I didn't get help (and fast), she is going to alert our teacher and the principal. I'm really scared about what's going to happen to me. I don't want to kill myself in any way shape or form, nor do i want to hurt myself, but I'm saying things that may indicate otherwise.