I think it's time i went to confession...only that's stupid coz i've done nothing wrong...
so quite randomly the straight boy starts talking to me on messenger last night...wants to see me again...wants to see the painting i painted...his portrait. he loved it....it's a very good painting and a good likeness...but more importantly it's just him, through and through...the idiot.
anyway i spun a nice little lie web for my grandparents who (like everyone else) buys into my bullshit...can't help it...i'm the best liar in the northern hemisphere. anyways...he came over and we went to have a beer...was quite straight except for my rediculously nice clothes...but he compensated straightness with the ugliest f'ing tiger shirt i've ever laid eyes on...he's lucky his body is so gorgeous and his cock is so wonderful. anyways...after that pointless little drink we went up to my apartment and snuck in undetected. have i mentioned he's an idiot? he's and IDIOT! anyway...he tries to do the whole..."take it slow...foreplay " thing but he fucking sucks at it..being an idiot and all, didn't take longer than ten minutes of making out...pelvic thrusting...hands in the right directions...a little taste of this and that before i was totally naked and he once again tried out blowing me. before i get to the blowjob...he was still far too dressed....in jeans and underwear...the idiot. anyway....the blowjob was almost a collosal disaster...idiot boy has no idea what to do with his tongue...or his lips...or his saliva...used far too much teeth (oouuuccchh!!!) and concentrated far too much on my knob as if it's a fucking lollipop and the rest is just the stick you hold on to...ah...no! idiot!
anyway i told him to just give up and come back for some making out...foreplay type activities. finally got him naked...oh god...he had fucking tiger underpants too...he's obsessed with tigers...he wants me to paint him naked and put a tiger face over his cock...WHAT AN IDIOT!
he mentioned something about a glass of red wine dripping from his hands too...as if the boy has ever drank red wine except on the sabbath....idiot.
there is a point to me calling him an idiot! and it's beyond the fact that he's an idiot!
christ what an idiot!
anyway once both of us were naked it was time for a cooldown...so more foreplay...dont' want to jump the gun...which beign a former straighty idiot...he did...so down i go and blow....took him a suprisingly long time to cum (i was beggining to think i was off my game) but when he did it was massive....most of which i swallowed like a good little whore (i dont' do that for anybody else...you tell him..i kill you)....the orgasm lasting again about a minute..which is amazing...i'm so jelous of the idiot! he's all squeezing my hand and shit. i love it when you blow a guy and he pulls u'r hair or just caresses it....but if ever a guy grabs my head and starts skull fucking me...i will bite his cock off! he's lucky he's a gentlemanish idiot and didn't do that. anyway he was quite pleased and said he doesn't think a chick could ever blow like that...which is like...duh idiot!
then he gets on top of me...puts his knee between my legs and says he's gonna "teach me to kiss" and if i dont' behave myself he'll knee me in the balls (ladies..that means extreme pain)...tell me to open my mouth and suspend my tongue in the middle...so i go along...he obviously gets turned on by this little teacher game so..eh? and he's an exceptionally good kisser so why not learn something. he does this thing where he rolls his tongue around yours (you're supposed to do it too) a few times than sucks u'r lip then bites it...it's really quite exquisite...especially for an idiot. apperantly that's how he was taught by some girl (good girl....but he's still an idiot)...difference being that he got kneed in the balls several times and i got a score of 100% coz...eh...im awesome? anyway...then he declares "lesson two".....which was to just sort of half breath half lick my ear/neck then do the same to my open mouth...which i must admit was very impressive and i kinda had a horny attack and jumped him...but i didn't get a knee in the balls on account of he asked me to try it myself and did it better than him...tada! then lesson three was a combination of the two. now what he didnt' seem to figure out is that i could do much the same sort of tricks with his cock...but he found that out later...
anyway...that was kind of fun...the idiot really is a good kisser. the idiot said something about it beign a "girl's secret" and that he's now passed it on to me so i can pass it on to other homos...which made it sound more like an std than a secret...but eh? and who said i want to have sex with homos? he's totally ruined me for all other men...the idiot! then he asks me if there's any secrets i know and can teach him...i told him i teach by example and there blowjob number two commenced...but before he came i stopped and went to have a little makeout session and a chat..the idiot asked if i can talk him through what i just did, to share the "gay secret" i told him that's not a gay secret that's an "adam secret" and if i tell him i'd have to kill him...which i said mostly because it's too complex for the idiot to ever get....not to mention he'll have to get over his fear of cocksucking before he can learn let alone accell at it! idiot!
anyway....after the little chat i did my rounds of checkpoints...lips...ear...back of neck...hug...bite the shoulder...lick chest...suck nipples....underarm lick (not the centre).....running down the side...across the bottom of his belly and on his sixpack......bite the side of his ass...spread his legs...lick the inside of both thighs...small bites from time to time to remind the idiot who's boss...then the ciritical tease licks under the balls...where leg meets crotch...balls themselves then back to work on his cock. for a reason i cannot imagine he wanted to see how i would jerk him off...thinking maybe blow is all i can do or something...the idiot...so once i wet him enough i grabeed the idiot in my hand and did the jerk off thing...every so often adding moisture so he don't sandpaper his poor cock like he did to me...the idiot! i have friction burns! lol no just kidding but the idiot did kinda suck at it until i gave him lube....it's not easy being circumcised my dears. anyway...while jerking off i move the pressure i apply from the base of the cock to just below the knob...sometimes i give the knob a brush and sometimes not...so as to not over or understimulate it....i try and keep the pressure also moving in circles around his cock and vary the speed....not letting his balls bounce too much so it doesn't hurt the idiot. anyway in no time he was all cumming again and squeezing my hand as well as several other areas...not sure if that was for my benefit or for his...perhaps both? anyway... after that he assisted by touchign and kissing me while i finished myself off...him giving only a minimal effort to finish me off himself (im hard to please...very very hard)....upon which he started some conversation about something completely...like...not hot. anyways he then fell asleep...for a fucking hour! it was nice cuddling and what not for a while...but i got fucking bored...plus i wanted to finish him off again...but eh...the idiot was still tiered when he woke up and had to leave before long...so we settled for postplay. then the idiot shows his true idiot colours and starts askign me how i feel about him! FUCKING IDIOT! IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!!!!!!!! EVEN I KNOW YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT FEELINGS WITH A CASUAL FUCK! IDIOT!
none the less we had that conversation which brought me to within a second of bursting out crying from the mountain of shit i otherwise do a fabulous job at suppressing...while of course also hearing out loud the what i already knew to be true (though chose to fantacise otherwise)...that he has no feelings for me at all. like...duh idiot! of course you don't....i'm just an annonymous entity that gives you the best orgasms you've ever had...i never pretended nor was i under the illusion that i meant anything more...nor was i expecting you to feel anything for me beyond a little gratitude (which he's shown in copious...almost annoying amounts...there's only so many times you can be thanked for sex before the whore image comes to mind)...BUT WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID HE HAVE TO TAKE WHAT WE BOTH KNEW BETWEEN THE LINES AND PUT IT ON A FUCKING LINE AND SEND IT OUT OF THAT GORGEOUS MOUTH AND SHOOT IT IN MY EAR! YOU FUCKING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT IDIOT! this is why the boy is a fucking idiot! idiot! then when he leaves he blows me a kiss as if i'm his fucking sweetheart...you idiot! then not two minutes go by (two minutes in which i was comforting myself at the thought that i'll never have to see him again) and he fucking rings me!!! to THANK ME ONCE AGAIN! grrrrrr!!!!!! idiot!!!! idiot!!! then he gets home and sends me a thank you text! IDIOT! then in the morning an email with...you guessed it...a THANKS!!!!! FUCKING IDIOT!
how can once boy be such a fucking idiot!!! is he trying to make me fall in love with him!? fucking idiot! i told him i dont' love him...i told him! sure i lied...but he needed to hear that...and i needed to hear myself say it...but he's an idiot!
I'm the idiot