Me and Josh did not have any major anger problems today, which was good. Today was really bad though anyways. I ate candy and didn't work out. :O Bad bad girl.
I've been so tired and worn out lately, so I asked my mom to call me in for school tomorrow. I offered to clean the house and make dinner, which helped with the exchange I guess. I'm hoping I'll work out tomorrow, and start making it a pattern.
I retook my trig test today, but to no avail. I tried correcting it, like we were supposed to, but I just kept getting the same answers, and moving on to a different question. This cycle kept repeating for every question that I got nothing done. BLAH! Speaking of trig, I don't understand Mr. S. sometimes. At lunch, he used such a..mean voice as I tried to get help correcting my paper. I felt so stupid. I probably am stupid, at least in his class..my lowest grade. And yet...he still smiled at me after gym, and made me laugh with this prank thing he did with the door. Agablob! Does he hate my guts, but think I'm a nice person? Why don't I think of anything clever to say when he's around? Why doesn't he just force me down and make me give him a blowjob?
Moving on. Half the reason I'm taking off tomorrow is my homework overload. If I was going to school, I'd have to create an entire essay plus six quotes in 5 and a half hours. Not my thing, yo.
I feel fuckin' fat. I hate my body. Why couldn't I have been just like the rest of the teenage population, being skinny and have big boobs?
My life...is so boring. I feel like just meeting someone off the internet tomorrow just because I need some excitement in my life. That would end bad, though. Like bloody shot in the face bad.
I want sex. And I feel almost sick of sex with my boyfriend. I don't want the same old, same old anymore. I want new and exciting. I want to feel sexy and hot. I want to be dominated and dominate. I want to radiate confidence, and feel it from my partner. I want an older, more experienced partner...I also feel in the mood for a female partner sometimes...but there's no bi or les chicks in my little city. It's the kinda thing you get shot for, man or woman.
I need something. I need everything and nothing at the same time.