When in Paris...

Anonymous's picture

“In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language” -Mark Twain

I have merely scanned the posts from the past day or so, not having had time to go in-depth a read them all. Still, I can make a few observations and offer a little general advice, for what it's worth.

Tim, I'm afraid you're going to hate me no matter what I say, so I can't really see any way to respond to you directly without getting chewed up in return. You are obviously very angry at the world, and are taking it out on those of us here on Oasis, whether we deserve it or not, and honestly, most of us don't. I'm not going to give you a flip or humorous answer, because you deserve more than that. First, you've hurt some people, and although you say you don't care (that's always easier isn't it?), I know that's not true. The easiest thing to do, and one that would also demonstrate your assertion that you're rather mature for 13, would be to simply offer the people you've harmed an unequivocal apology and ask for their forgiveness. I see you did that at one point, and I can almost guarantee that you will not be turned down by any one of them. Second, on a personal note, I want you to know that I love you. It doesn't matter how much you scream at me or how you behave. I can get annoyed with you, and certainly dissappointed in you, but you are like a son to me, and I will always love you as such, completely without conditions.

To the rest of you...remember, we are all here because we are troubled. The world is suspicious and often hateful towards us because we are different, and so we come to Oasis to find sanctuary. However, as this is a community, we also find lots of others, in the same lifeboat as we're in. They are all wounded and trying to heal, and they cope with those wounds in different ways. The admins here don't censor very much, because that would completely defeat the purpose of providing a forum where everyone can come to scream, yell, cry, laugh, hug or lash out. As a result, sometimes some people here can be hurt by others here.

Oasis is a family, and family members do tend to cause one another pain, either by accident or on purpose. Again, my recommendation when that happens is just to drop your teenage graffiti wall long enough to say, "I'm sorry". It's usually the easiest way to put it all right again. Those who would rather go with the "I don't care" attitude will simply have to deal with the consequences that stem from that. For those of you who have been hurt, it's terrible, you don't deserve it, but perhaps instead of just taking your ball and leaving the playground, it might be a good chance to work on toughening up a bit. For all the occasional histrionics in here, haters, bigots and pedophiles are still not allowed, and even the people doing the yelling are basically going through the same painful adjustments and realizations that you are. If you stay and stand up for yourself, or if you choose, simply ignore the person in question, you'll come out of it with a thicker skin and better able to deal with the problems of the real world. Despite what some have asserted here, Oasis is not a utopia, where everyone is wrapped in bubble wrap and protected from all harm. It is an online community where people are accepted for who they are. Haters, homophobes, spammers and pervs are kicked out so that everyone can feel safe enough to express themselves freely - not just those who always say happy, huggy, unselfish & supportive things, but everyone who needs a safe place to work out their identity issues. It has worked well for the most part, and as far as I know, is going to stay that way.

If you should get bit by one of the wilder inhabitants, there will always be someone else here with a bandage and a kiss for you. Of course, the other option is to bite back. For Heaven's sake, don't leave though. Everything that happens to you in life offers a chance to learn and grow, and Oasis should be no different.

So stay...please? I love all of you very, very much, and don't want to see any of you go until you've all become happy, well-adjusted grown-ups who don't need us anymore. Even then, it'd be nice if you popped in every now and again to say hi.

Hugs,
Pat

bulldyke's picture

yeah...what he said. :) i

yeah...what he said. :)

i love oasis...and oasis isn't anything without the people who write here. we're none of us perfect...but just like pat said, we can all be better people if we can find it in ourselves to apologize.

the only thing i think i can really add is that sometimes, we don't know if/when we're going hurtful rather than helpful. so please, stand up for yourselves. if you don't feel comfortable telling someone that what they said is hurtful, tell someone else who's outspoken...jeff or pat are the obvious choices, but i, and i'm sure others, will always be willing to tell someone that what they said was hurtful.

and if you're told by anyone that something that you said was not nice, listen. it's not that they're saying you're a bad person, or that you don't belong here, or any of that. it's just that you didn't say the right thing, adn that's okay! like i said...none of us are perfect.

no one takes critizism well, me least of all, but that doesn't mean we can't stand up for ourselves.

so yeah...like i said, what pat said. :P lol

Bulldyke
"I think some mistakes are meant to be made, because we can't help but hope that they won't be mistakes."

Icarus's picture

*feels wubbed*

what pat said.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

ferrets's picture

yes............

every one contributes somthing. if adam left, we wouldnt have a community nastie mind person. if wants out left, who would constantle talk about killing adam, if bulldyke left it would be like the town police oficer leaving. if steve or pat left, well i dont even want to think about it. if i left who would speek of ferrets. we all contibute somthing, and if any one left, then we would all have a little hole in ou ferrets, er, hearts i mean.

hugs from ferrets

bulldyke's picture

your new title "Official

your new title "Official Ferret Whisperer". and we shall bow to you and worship you, and defer to you with all our problems. :P

Bulldyke
"I think some mistakes are meant to be made, because we can't help but hope that they won't be mistakes."

Adam A's picture

meow

FUCK ME DEAD PAT!
i can sum up that whole essay in one sentence:

CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?!?!

tada!!!

no but seriously....no i wont say it.
free blowjobs on the house!!!!
(except for you bulldyke....50 bucks!)

WantsOut's picture

Did NOBODY read my formal

Did NOBODY read my formal apology? Anyone?

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

-The Gashlycrumb Tinies, Edward Gorey

Adam A's picture

meow

well you post every five seconds you little posting whore!
now give me 50 bucks

WantsOut's picture

If I don't post I throw

If I don't post I throw stuff at the wall, my little FuckMuffin.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

-The Gashlycrumb Tinies, Edward Gorey

WantsOut's picture

Also, Pat, I don't hate you

Also, Pat, I don't hate you for what you said. In fact, (This is going to sound much worse than I mean it to) I'm almost completely without emotion (Except the SLIGHT annoyance at the lack of ANYONE reading mmy apology) while I'm reading this. This is one of my moments here I'm not really very emotional, so I'm sorry if you wanted a rant. You aren't getting one, sir.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

-The Gashlycrumb Tinies, Edward Gorey

Adam A's picture

meow

that was a rant my dear....and fuckmuffin? surely you can do better than that!?

ferrets's picture

i..................

read your apology, if it helps, and accepted it to

ferrets with flame throwers