Everyone here has been so helpful. through all my highs and my lows.
I want to give a special thank you, however, to Icarus. Last night she literally saved my life. I put my hands around my neck for a few minutes, thinking of hanging myself (and picturing it in my head) and thought of the word: "bliss". She and I were talking online for a while and in between my responses, I would put my hand on my heart and let it start to ride up until it got to my neck. Instead of squeezing it like I thought I might do, Icarus kept talking to me. Kept asking questions to make sure I responded. And it worked. Until my bedtime, we chatted back and forth (probably for over an hour). She saved my life. I mean, if not, I would've grabbed my neck and done who knows what. I couldn't even keep my head up or my eyes open (but it wasn't because of tiredness). I just felt...well, dead. She kept me alive.
I want to thank you, Icarus, for helping me to keep my life.