anyone on a sports team?

wild-blue-yonder's picture

Is anyone here out and on a school sports team? I’m considering coming out to my fencing team, but I’m worried as to how they will react. We’re like a family – I don’t want to jeopardize that. Has anyone else on Oasis done this kind of thing? How did it go? Any advice?

Nanook's picture

X-C Running X-C

X-C Running
X-C Skiing
Indoor Track & Field
Track & Field

They all know/knew. Hell, my entire school knows. And no one carea one bit, or if they do, they just fuck off. We joke about my sexuality all the time actually. Especially when I say that I'm a vegetarian...

bulldyke's picture

does that mean i can call

does that mean i can call you a veggie fag and find it inexplicably, but incredibly, hilarious?

Bulldyke
"As my mother always said, there's nothing that says 'stay out of my airspace' quite like a couple of F-18s." ~Rachel Maddow

Adam A's picture

meow

was on the school soccer and Rugby (the british, original and much tougher version of american football) teams and i definately didn't come out, it would have meant an immediate death sentence....but a) i went to a private catholic highschool in the middle of nowhere, australia
b) homophobia levels were very high all around my town anyway
c) i was a jock and
d)fencing is not exactly a "knuckhead" sport...so maybe things will be different for you
heh

beardcore's picture

Lacrosse player, Defense

Lacrosse player, Defense actually.

You really should only come out to them if you feel it is safe enough for you.

I don't know your fencing team so...trust your gut on this one?
:s

wild-blue-yonder's picture

Yeah...

Yeah... I know my final decision should be based on the group dynamics of this team in particular. I just wanted to know if any of you experienced unexpected repercussions (negative or positive) from coming out to a sports team, so I might have a better idea of what I'm getting into.

Also, update: I thought that so far, everyone on our team was straight (which I actually doubted since it's like 40 people...) but there was this one guy who kept setting off my gaydar... and I just checked his facebook and he's "interested in men," so I guess I wouldn't be the first. No one seems to have a problem with him, at least I haven't heard any gossip, but that may be because no one's actually facebook-stalked him and realized it yet. (He never announced it or anything.)

I feel like this team would be just about as good as you can get to come out to. My only worry is, it's so perfect now... if anything changed, it would really upset me... but if I'm right, they could be the best support group ever. I'm just really nervous to risk what I have now.

Also... just so you know... I'm not planning a dramatic, confrontational coming out. It would be casually mentioning it to a couple of key people and just letting the gossip train do the rest. I feel like that's all I'd need to do...

jeff's picture

Well..

If a gay guy is accepted on the team, a gay girl should have even less issue.

---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

allmylovin's picture

Im on the crew team at

Im on the crew team at school and no one is out but i am sure that they are not ALL straight. my coach always asks me if i'm a lesbian and she doesnt seem to care. i'm not fully out to everyone on the team but i think most of them have the idea and are fine with it.

I think you should go for it, especially if there is another gay person on the team and no one really has an issue with it. Also since you feel so close with them I think you should trust them to be accepting.

Good luck!

truth it just like time it catches up and it just keeps going

Inkblot's picture

Um....

Played rugby for a bit, but quit due to fear of death by tire iron. Now do track and field, everybody knows, nobody cares.

Do I shock you darling?
-Sally Bowles, Cabaret

1stTeeka's picture

i've found

I've found that fencing teams seem to be the most chill. idk why they just seem to be *shrug* I dont fence though i kinda want to, a lot of my friends do though and at there schools the fencing teams seem to be chill with it.

**Far from a saint, not quite a sinner**
the greatest irony: There is no Peace without War

Doctor Beastly's picture

Love of Sports

So far none of my teammates have taken my answer of "yes" to their questions of me being gay serious, but I have been playing football, wrestling, and track and field for all four years of my high school years. I fill no need to tell any of them for it is fun to flurt around with them, but I have been caught with the dating question from time to time. I just laugh thinking what they would say knowing their three year varsity football and wrestling captain were actually gay.

hellonwheels's picture

i used to be...

...on track/ xc back in school-( i waas the bigger guy on the team), but now i am racing mtnbikes and motos locally and its kicking my ass. i got a few more sponsors this year tho, so that's hella good.

Mental wounds not healing, driving me insane, i'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train- the ozzman

Izy's picture

Girls varsity field

Girls varsity field hockey...they hated me but I am not sure if it was becuase I came out as a lesbian or not. I came out as trans and their response was calling me a whore and a dyke and telling me to get off the team. Only a few of them cared about me, they only kept me on as long as they did because I always brought food to the pasta party.

Juggling club...its not really a club, but we perform and compete. They don't care at all or they would be kicked out. I don't have time to deal with homophobes. They either accept me and juggle with me or they are out. Its a group of three and we get really close and do very odd things together so there is a lot of trust. This year the group has me, a bi boy, and a straight boy...we all wear tights.

Depends on the team itself if you should come out or not. If its a very physical sport I don't suggest it without some research into the team. Field hockey sticks really hurt.

justAdude's picture

In my case...

I couldn't come out, or at least I dared not to come out on any team that I participated in. I ran XC and Track for two years, and picked up Tennis for two years. On my XC team, the coach was a father of one of the other runners, but also happened to be a minister of a local church. He was fond of me as an athlete, and I thought that by coming out to the "team" I would let him down in some way or would expect to be punished in some sort, even though he's one of the nicest people I've ever met. Also, there was one guy who joined the team, who actually joined to try and get closer to me. But, he was more feminine than myself, and the other teammates would talk about him and joke about his orientation. Just some of the things that they said made me look at them differently. And all the while I wanted to say to them, "Well I'm gay too." But it never happened like that. I couldn't believe though, that these people who I had gotten to know over a couple year's time were so different in their ideals, and I had never actually gotten to know them for who they are.