Don't say you cannot help me. I know this is not a therapy site. Just someone stop me. From planning.
I won't be on all night, but if you need someone to talk to, PM and I'm more than happy to listen to whatever you need to say and respond.
Don't hurt yourself, I know everyone's been saying this all day, but causing yourself permanent damage is never a good idea and once you start it's really easy to take it just a little bit farther than you can come back from.
In the short term, I recommend that you turn on your favorite calm music. Taking bathes is always helpful, and you can never take to many.
In the long term, I would recommend a couple of things. One is to find a trusted adult who you can talk to, and the other is to sign up for some sort of martial arts. It might seem silly, but I find that nothing is more relaxing, and nothing distracts you from self-loathing quite like kicking the shit out of a punching bag or flipping someone on their back.
In the meantime, if you need to talk to someone, I'm here to listen.
Arg. Um. Start a project! May sound ridiculous, but it can help. If you've got a drop of artsyness in you, start a painting/sculpture/story/piece of music/play, whatever. Hell, clean your room. And you're not allowed to do anything to yourself until you finish it.
Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader
Instead of planning on how to hurt yourself, create a list of things you can do to distract yourself. Go for a bike, run, read, paint, etc. Then do those things.
Everyone's given some pretty good advice... if you get completely involved in something you love, all the bad stuff will melt away. Even staying on Oasis is something that can help. Just hold on and keep yourself safe. Remember, I'm here, and so is everyone else.
write a story about anything.
go for a walk.
clean your room.
watch funny videos..
make a to-do list of things you've always wanted to do.
so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata
Most important, call the Trevor Project hotline that Pat posted.
And I don't buy into your parents won't let you use the phone, since your parents also wouldn't let you kill yourself. So, between breaking one of those rules, I vote you break the phone rule. If you're allowed to break the suicide rule, then I can't imagine why you're not allowed to break the phone rule.
Otherwise, don't break either rule.
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
I always write down everything, everything that's bad, then either post it on some strange, strange website that has nothing to do with anything, then delete it the next day, or hand write it, then read it out loud [obviously when nobody's around] and see how that would sound to someone other than you. Even flushing it down the toilet works better than nothing.
These actually sound really stupid, but you never know what works until you try.
Also, Jeff's right, a professional hotline, like the Trevor Project hotline, they are always helpful, even though a lot of people don't believe that.
"Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees, 'cause you have that affect on me."