So I've been kind of down lately. I never get to see my gf. And it sucks. She's going to be gone for a week for spring break to see her dad. Fine. Glad for her. But I'll miss her. And her mom is being a fucking bitch. I don't get to see her before she leaves. At all.
My parents are lovely . I love them because I have to. I don't feel loved by them. I feel kind of disposable. I mean I feel like I walk in and out of their life and it isn't that big of a deal. For them at least. It kind of hurts me that they don't seem to care that shit goes on in my life. Or that I'm hurt that they pay more attention to my little sister. Always have. I mean I know this kind of has to do with my middle child syndrome. But fuck, when do I get to be loved by my parents, and not feel like it is because they want something from me? God, I always feel like they are "sucking up" and if it works I'm stuck doing two weeks of laundry. And making dinner. *sigh* I hate my home life. I feel so goddamn invisible.