I'm more myself on the internet then real life

ShowMeLove's picture

Ahh.....My sister's making me cry :( And this sucks. We're talking through Facebook and she's reminiscing about our old house and how none of us live there now and how much she misses it. It's a longggg story. But in short she's making me cry. And she NEVER talks to me through FB or IM...NEVER!!! That's why at first I thought she was gonna try to bring up the fact that she thinks I'm a hard core lesbian!!(That's totally Britney's line from Will & Grace last night) I swear, I think she knows....I think she's got a good gaydar. She told my mom a few years ago that she thought our brother was gay. And I'm pretty sure he is! But anyways, I thought with the way she randomly IM that she was trying to talk to me about that...well, maybe.

She was saying that it's weird cause she sees a different side of me on FB than in real life LOL! I wonder why? I've always found it a lot easier to be myself on the internet then in person. Plus I post some gayish things that I would NEVER say or show to anyone! Mostly cause I am trying to slowly let them in on my little secret but I don't want to just come right out and say it for a couple of reasons. 1) I would find it totally awkward and 2) I still have those tiny minuscule doubts in my find that say "Because you've never been with a girl how do you truly 100% know that you're gay?" AND I freaking HATE those doubts but they run through my mind once in a blue moon usually when I'm thinking about letting everyone know.

And I know that's a classic sign of being in denial. Yes, I know. I don't want to be straight. It's just that it's hard when you haven't been with a girl and that sex has ALWAYS been confusing and I don't know. Sexuality all together is confusing. Although I'm 99% sure that I'm gay it's just that whole not being with a girl as of yet thing.....I think that's gonna change soon, though. :P


bulldyke's picture

ooh, your sister sounds

ooh, your sister sounds cool. :D

"As my mother always said, there's nothing that says 'stay out of my airspace' quite like a couple of F-18s." ~Rachel Maddow