lakjfoaie. I need

music is life's picture

When I came out to my Dad I was so proud of myself, and thats rare. I was like "Yes I told my Dad, I can tell anyone now!" Well turns out I wasn't the first to tell him. My sister T was. She got into a fight with him about her being a ungrateful, irresponsible bitch and she yells "Atleast I'm not gay like your youngest daughter!" Because me being gay is a bad thing when SHE was the first person I told and SHE said she SUPPORTED me. Fuck her. Honestly, I seriously hate my sister. But I hate her as much as I love her.
My other sister K, told me this when we were eating lunch together at a restaurant. She told me how about a week before I came out to my Dad, T had told him and then a couple of days before I came out to my Dad he went to K and asked her if it was true, and she told him she didn't know.
I almost started crying in the restaurant.

This explains why when I told my Dad he asked if it was a joke at first.
Am I crazy for being upset over this? I haven't said anything to T because my Dad told K not to tell me and K asked me not to kill her, even though she deserves it. T is one of those people that just needs to get the shit beat out of them, and everyone is just waiting for it to happen b/c she runs her mouth and is just a total two-faced bitch. And yes some of this is out of anger but its all true even if I wasn't angry. I am so on edge when I'm around T now. She doesn't know that I know. But she does know that I can beat the shit out of her. I'll let you guys know when I do, its been bound to happen for 16 years.

I got all crazy and almost depressed when I used to think about coming out to my Dad, especially the few days before I actually did. Turns out it was all pointless, not in the sense that he is accepting, but the fact that he didn't hear it from me. I've lost all sense of pride for it. I mean ya its good that he hear it from me but, its almost like asking a question you already know the answer to.

I really wish that I didn't get so upset over this. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable. And like I'm letting T have power over me, which is what she wants. Idk I just don't really have that many people that actually understand this stuff, and I'm not even sure I understand it.
Sry for the rant about hating my bitch of a sister.

I can't wait to get the out of this town.

Comments

Siovampire's picture

Hey! You're no way in hell

Hey! You're no way in hell weak or vulnerable! I know you feel it...but that's just a natural reaction to this type of bitchy move. That was so wrong of her to do to you and you have every right to be angry and confused and to want to beat the living shit out of her. But you have to be the bigger person. If you want to, confront her, or if you want to let it go, then let it go. You're out and your father is (I guess?) ok with it....you're strong and amazing and you CAN do anything and say anything and be anything you want. and your sister can't do anything to stop you.

ferrets's picture

but.........

if u need help with the beating the shit ou of ur sister, i have a massive army of ferrets to help with anyone s requests, as long as they are violent and help to show not to mess with the ferret pope and his followers, hmmm yes i have four or five followers right now, ready to sping to ur assistance, for they are always wacthing( ecept when ur in the shower of cpurse, or getting dressed) all hail ferrets!

ferrets are love, no way around it!

music is life's picture

haha Thanks! I had no idea

haha Thanks! I had no idea that ferrets could form an army. Learn something new everyday

Icarus's picture

damn...

your sister definitely has issues with her mouth...

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

the ghost's picture

Hey! I don't think you

Hey! I don't think you should loose all pride in telling your dad, because when you were telling him you didn't already know that he knew. So you had to get the courage up yourself to go through with it, no matter the consequences and that was brave. Please don't loose sight of that, just because your sister totally screwed you over.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

music is life's picture

You're exactly right. I just

You're exactly right. I just kinda felt like the joke was on me the entire time ya know? Like I was out of the loop on my own life.

Lehcure's picture

*hugs* *slaps sister* jeeez.

*hugs*

*slaps sister*

jeeez. she is insane. I would get crazy angry over that too. Why does she want you mad? I don't understand some people.
well, I guess it is good that you're dad knows now. and he accepts you.
I understand why you wanted to tell him personally. but all in all, he knows now. and eventually you will leave that town, and hopefully everything'll get better. like it should.

music is life's picture

haha. Thanks for slapping

haha. Thanks for slapping her!
She wants me mad because she feeds off of attention and me getting all worked up over her makes her feel special.
And I really hope that when I leave it gets better too :/

ferrets's picture

ferrets.....

can do anything, under guidence from a well organized pope!

ferrets are love, no way around it!