I've been talking to my best friend a lot about my gf lately. And I don't know. I'm really confused. I think I should leave her. I love her, but she and I aren't really good for each other as I'm starting to realize more and more. I encourage her to do things like her homework, but she doesn't do the same for me. She is just kind of there. And I love being with her when it is just her and I and we can be all cute and sweet. But idk, it still bothers me that she cheated. I don't trust her like I did before. And it totally changed our relationship.
I don't want to think about her.
I don't even feel bad that when I was at the hardware store with my family the other day I saw this really hot girl working there. I like girls that are androgynous, and I haven't gone out with one. My gf and I are switch off on who is more girly and it's kind of.. eh, not working for me. I like dressing up, but I sometimes feel like I have to put too much effort into it. Like maintain it. And that just isn't something I'm into. I like being around my best friend because then I can look scuzzy, or I don't have to wear make-up (not even that I wear a lot), but it's nice. I know it would be a lot easier to just date my best friend. But that totally isn't an option. She's like my sister. And totally straight.