I Love Ohad.
Officially. he told me the other day that he loves me, and all i could think of to say was "you love me?"
and he was like all regretting it and shit and i was like totally blown out of the water...it was only the following day that i sent him a text saying "i screwed up last night that i didn't tell you that i love you too" and he said "i know you do"...and that's where we left it. We saw eachother last night for a long time but he was feeling all weird and had a strange mood...we didn't really talk about it much...so today i was all grim thinking that whole "i love you" episode was leading nowhere and in fact i was certain he was just yanking my chain when he said it. then today he calls sounding really bad, he was very sick, and went home from work. i told him that im worried and wish i could take care of him...he rang and said that he's alone at home and wants me to come over. so i did, and it was nice...i massaged him a bit, we made out a lot...his mum was there, i met her...she's creepy but otherwise ok. then he said it again, he said "i love you" and this time i was ready and said it back....then i laughed about him saying "i know you do" the first time and me saying "do you love me?" his first time
bahahaha, then he goes to me..."don't you think we're like two morons" and i was like..."pretty much yeh" and later agreed that it was wonderful...we don't follow any rules...we don't move at anyone's pace but ours, we have a very very VERY perculiar relationship, coz we're both such fuckheads....an example of this is that i noticed the other day that he has two beauty spots in his crotch to the left of his balls.....so i named it britney spears...then today he got an erection while we were kissing and started moving his cock up and down, talking in a really bad spanish accent and calling it jennifer lopez....i flicked it and told him i'm never sucking it again if he keeps calling it jennifer lopez...he should call it either jenny from the block of little ohad...we compromised with jenny from the block. mine as yet unnamed thank god!
i also introduced him to snu snu (snu snu is my digital camera...it's fucking ancient and shit, but i've had it for ages...and it's gay....a gay digital camera called snu snu). anyways....i met his friend who name i can't remember...she looked like she needed a hug and i think ohad made her a tad uncomfortable when he started kissing me in her presence....nontheless i tried my best to impress her and i think eventually won her favour. then i met the sister who didn't really want anything to do with ohad or i....and then i met his dad which didn't even say hello...just gave me a death stare...i promply turned my back to him and walked away....parents don't phase me....he's just crancky coz he knows his boy's body and mine are very well acquainted...meow. actually they don't know that..any of them...ohad hasnt' told them...but i would think it's pretty fucking obvious...they've never met me before...i have nothing to do with ohad's life...and i looked so gay today...blue shoes....red socks...grey suit pants....white buttoned tucked in shirt...purple jumper...brown leather bag...blue "blues brother's" sunnies....i may as well have kissed ohad in front of them.
anyways...i'm feeling kinda good about things...thoguh ohad got into another weird mood today...he realizes he has them but eh? i think that requires a massive dose of deep and meaningful conversations that i think ohad isn't really comfortable having with me just yet...thoguh he's opening up. plus i have this annoying habbit of seeking validation by putting myself down and waiting for a compliment...i HAVE TO STOP DOING THAT!!!! HAVE TO! which is why i'm going to the therapist.....but god it's hard...i just want ohad and i to be togehter in bed again and i want to tell him i love him again...it feels good.
in other news: i had a crazy day....i was jerked around for an hour looking for a video camera that isn't fucked today at school....with a massively unsuccessful search that leaves me effectively fucked for my assignment....i nearly caused an accident this morning during rush hour traffic....i was harassed by a really bitchy fag who was hitting on me by talking about my shoes....i told him my eyes were nice...then ran away...i was caught skipping class by the head of the art department today...and the class i was skipping was his class..that was happening right then...lol...my bad...
and then i was laughed at by two ugly skinny fuckhead religious soldiers coz they overheard someone a girlfriend of mine saying i was gay....i death stared the little cunts then my other friend (eyal...the 35 year old pothead...biggest you've ever seen) called out some fancy swear words to them....gotta love that about straight men. anyway then i was gonna catch a bus...and saw it comming to the station, and about ten meters before it stopped a fucking car slams into it, big big bang, nobody hurt thank christ...but then the bus was fucked...traffic all jammed and nobody was going no place....thank god eyal took me home in the end. and my grandmother is now in hospital coz her heart is being a lazy cunt...and my grandfather looks like death...
and on the way home eyal almost had an accident
and i unknowingly caught the same taxi as ohad's mum to ohad place...this was before we met...so i've been racking my brain trying to think of all the embarassing things i've done in the cab before we realized who eachother was.
and i didn't go for my walk today :(
and i'm hungry :(
and i need my jeans washed :(
and ...and....i had to dump aviv today...i wanted to have sex with him sooooo much...but i can't coz ohad loves me and i love him...
what a strange fucking day today i tell you what...fuck diddly diddly....
but ohad loves me.