Skimming the surface

Zephyr's picture

I've been planning a lot lately. I think my OCD comes out a lot more when I'm stressed or uncomfortable about things. And that is def true. I'm not exactly super excited about my gf leaving for 9 days. I don't see her enough as it is. School is being kind of shitty. My peers aren't my peers because I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I was put in the wrong classes and now I'm way ahead of most of the people in my math class, chem is easier than Rabies Face-- (which is a term of endearment for the cheerleader that has slept with virtually every guy at my school, its said that she has multiple STDs), Psychology, I could teach that class. God, like I don't understand why school couldn't be challenging? Like I understand it is for some people, but one of my main challenges in school is staying awake and present enough to know what is going on.

I don't feel challenged intellectually. In fact, I feel more challenged intellectually by my best friend talking about which sex positions baseball players should be in (trying to figure out how to work buttsex with dudes) than I do throughout my day at school. How sad is that? And I wouldn't say that I'm an exceptional student, I would just say that my school has done a great job at dumbing itself down to those who need it to be on that very basic of a level. But I do go to a great school, so it's like fuck, don't do that. And I'm in two AP classes, and they still do it. Probably more so than my other classes. Darwin is trying to tell you something, if you can't quite keep up at this level. You aren't ready.

*sigh* So now I'll just be frustrated that I don't feel challenged or stimulated on an intellectual level. 'Cause I'm not like a fucking genius or anything, I just don't think that people should be catered to quite as much as they are. It's bullshit.

In other less ranty news. I get to hang out with A and D over my spring break. They are my parents age, and yet I maintain a relationship with them as friends. Age doesn't matter. I would be lying if I said I didn't sometimes wish my parents were more loving like I see them as, but I would have to say that my relationship with my parents is less than ideal. Not because of their divorce. But because of the relationship I have with them individually. But with A and D it's different. Probably because they don't have kids. I get to fill that void for them, and they fill one for me as well. It amazes me that I can be talking about how much school pisses me off and be upset about that, but when I talk about A and D, I get upset because they aren't my parents. And in some way I feel like they do a better job. And that kind of hurts.