Do you ever wish that you could go to sleep and wake up and everything would be all better?
Thats how I feel right now. And I don't know what to do. Because I just want it to get better. I'm not capable of fixing this and its fucking with my head. Or maybe I am capable, I don't really know.
You know, I used to think this place was weird. Why would I ever want to write where strangers could see it on the internet? When I first joined here I was one fucked up kid. This place has been one of the best friends I've ever had. And I think thats because it has helped me be my own friend, to love myself for who I am. I'm not necesarly talking about being gay either, but as a human being completely.
Writing on here gets my thoughts out of my head that I can't keep inside anymore, but can't tell people in real life. I've basically been writing to myself. I honestly hope that one day I will look back on all of this and say that this has made me who I am today, and I'm proud of it and I will be able to talk openly about it. That light is soo far away, but thats ok for right now.