Told good friend im into her, and now its so so awkward

missidontgivafuc's picture

Ahhhh......I'd been getting serious vibes from a kind of good friend of mine that she liked me as more than a friend, i developed feelings for her, so I decided to just put it out there a couple of days ago..

Her reaction was literally just "ok" and then "well, i dont know what to say, i'm sad because we prolly wont be able to friends anymore because its awkward for you, this is kind of awkward, but its upto you" and yeah, it was said in a tone as if all i'd told her was "i decided to have a sandwich for lunch"

All i could say was just said yeah no big deal i think friends is fine (but obviously feeling crushed inside slightly)

Now we have class tomorrow. I have no idea now how to act around her. criiiiiiiinge.

the ghost's picture

I say act normal around her.

I say act normal around her. If she is a decent person she will do the same. It's not like you told her something bad. It is a compliment for someone to have another person attracted to you. If you both just act normal I'm sure the whole thing will be fine. Thats what I did when I good friend of mine told me they had feelings for me and I didn't return them. I was honest about it and continued as normal.
Good luck =]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

wilde_sapphire's picture

Just try to settle back to normalcy

I've been in the same situation and its awful but if you want to get rid of the awkwardness just try to act as normal as possible


Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.

missidontgivafuc's picture

she wants distance

well she sent me this huge long email saying she cant deal with it right now, and that she doesnt know how to act or what to do about it, and yeah, that it is making her more anxious then she already is.

At least she honest i guess. So yeah she basically wants distance.

Is that a normal reaction? I feel like shes overreacting

the ghost's picture

She is over-reacting. All

She is over-reacting. All you did was tell her you have feelings for her. It's not like you have proposed or something!!
If she is acting this way then maybe she wasn't worth having the crush on. Sorry don't mean to be harsh on your friend,but it sounds like she is being silly about it.

Good luck!

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

missidontgivafuc's picture

does it sound like

does it sound like internalised homophobia to you? seeing as she was so cool with it before

the ghost's picture

I don't think it could be

I don't think it could be internalised homophobia, I think that it is more to do with the fact that someone likes her. Some people act really weird, especially girls when they know somebody likes them. I have seen it happen before where someone makes a move on someone else and the person makes a big deal of how much they aren't into the person. Personally I think people make such a show of it to feed their own ego, like OMG someone has a crush on me kind of thing. I honestly think its best to just leave this girl to have her little drama about it. When nobody actually cares she will probably behave normally again.Thats just what I think anyway.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

Nanook's picture

At least you didn't say "I

At least you didn't say "I want to get into you".

But uhm, there's not a lot you can do. I personally wouldn't think about it and just go into class and wing it. I mean, cause who really plans out life? Sure, I plan out facets of it like uni and what I'm going to wear tomorrow, but beyond that, like life in social circumstances, I don't plan it because well, you can't plan it, it's too inconstant and fluctual.

riverrasquale's picture

I did it too!

I am glad I told my crush although it's going to be awkward. I need to keep focus on my job at hand and just get on with it (because I have to work on a project with her). Life goes on...it's only a crush!

jeff's picture

Umm...

I'm not sure how it becomes awkward when she knows. It was awkward when she didn't, as well. She just didn't know about it at that point.

If she's straight and you're into her, it's mainly your drama to sort out. Shouldn't be a big deal for her.

---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

missidontgivafuc's picture

Yeah thats what i thought,

Yeah thats what i thought, but shes made this whole massive deal about it, saying we cant be friends etc .....i wrote a journal entry about it

ferrets's picture

omg.....

my straight friend found out i like him, and he said hes FLATTERED! how weird is that?

a ferrets is a ferret, no matter how much it seems like a weasel. if only i could say the same for people.

Splash's picture

it can be nice...

...to know someone likes you like that, even if you don't return it. I was certainly flattered the first (and only) time I was asked out by a guy; enough that I thought I might like him enough to go on a date with him. (By the time we actually got to that date I had realized I was mistaken, and was beginning to seriously wonder if I was gay, but nevertheless it was nice to find out someone liked me that much.)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

jeff's picture

Well...

People confident in their sexuality usually don't have a problem with such things...

(unless you think he's gay and craves your junk)

---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

riverrasquale's picture

She opt out!

Remember I said earlier that we were to do a project together. Latest news is she opt out of the project and decided to get a job early having said before that she's determined to do the project.
I reckon that it's too much for her to take. I don't know when I will get over her... I hope soon because I feel really bad... :-(

the mouse that roared's picture

Hm. Is she acting like a

Hm. Is she acting like a total bitch to you or just freaked out? Because you could maybe confront her about her avoidance, say something about how you respect that she isn't interested and you really do value her friendship. So she doesn't have to avoid you.... etc. But your call on that one, because you actually know her and have a better instinct about how she's reacting, I'm sure.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. --Anais Nin

missidontgivafuc's picture

Yeah shes acting like a

Yeah shes acting like a total bitch, she said our friendship will never be the same again - basically total drama. She asked for space so i gave her space, then like a month and a half later i asked her u know so are we cool now, and she basically just said that its too much work for her, and that she doesnt care that this friendship is too much 'energy' for her.

the ghost's picture

This girl really sounds like

This girl really sounds like she is not worth your time or effort. I know that may be tough to hear since you obviously like her a lot. But if she could so easily let something like this get in the way of your friendship then she is not worth it. It really isn't a huge deal. One of my friends told me they were into me, it was a guy so I obviously wasn't. I told him no but I valued his friendship and we were able to carry on as normal. I appreciated his friendship too much to allow a crush get in the way of that.
It sounds like she enjoys the drama, and maybe she is flattered at the attention but she just enjoys making a hige deal out of someone liking her. maybe she doesn't get shown that much interest or something and is making the biggest deal she can of this, for that reason. Either way, it's definitly her problem.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

missidontgivafuc's picture

yeah, its definately not

yeah, its definately not lack of attention - she gets a lot from guys. Pretty much all the time.

I have no idea, and i guess yeah part of me thinks maybe shes backing off bc shes weirded out by her own feelings, but yeah, maybe im giving her too much credit here and shes just being stupid and overdramatic

the ghost's picture

It's definitly her own issue

It's definitly her own issue anyway and not yours. Maybe time will resolve things. I hope things work out for you, and the situation resolves itself.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt

missidontgivafuc's picture

Hmm. Well we had a seminar

Hmm. Well we had a seminar together, she was presenting in it, and it was weird. She looked over at me and smiled at me when i made a comment in class, and she kept kind of, watching me, every time i spoke to someone else. She had her eyes on me most of the time it seemed. She also overheard i joke i made with someone else, and kind of smiled to herself, she did that a couple of times, she was obviously listening to me.

We got prolonged eye contact after the class as well, but then this other girl started talking to me, and she was surrounded by people, but she was watching me the entire time i was talking to that girl. Then she had to go see a lecturer according to another friend.

So i thought it was positive from her, so i texted her an hour or so later asking her if she was still around uni and wanting to meet up, to which i got no response.

totally confusing