Fuck. It seems like drama is always being started. And for once, I didn't do it. I mean. Not this drama.
My gf has been extremely pissy lately. Fine, whatever. Except that when she gets pissy, so do I. Even though we are generally good about not taking it out on each other. But fuck. She hasn't been talking to me lately and it makes me feel like SHIT. I really care about her, and I feel like she doesn't care about it, like at all. And I don't need that shit. I already have parents that don't give a fuck about me.
So, I was at school today. And my best friend says to me, "I have to tell you something, its really hard to say. I'll call you later about it. I can't talk to you about it now. So I think I'm going to hold off telling you until I absolutely have to." And we walk into class. And I'm like fuck. Thanks for telling me. Now that's all I will be able to think about in class. And so I'm being pissy because I'm thinking about that, and my family shit. And she gets mad at me for being bitchy. And we kind of had this fight. I mean, she and do this often. And she said "That's the last time I go in between you two, I don't know why I do it in the first place. I always get cast aside in the end."-- Referring to me and my gf. And then I'm like fuck. NOW I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. So I ask my gf. And she denies that she has something to tell me. Because when I called her 20 minutes ago and asked her again she finally fessed up and said that she did have something to tell me. But she is still at school. For a project. So now I have to wait until one of them tells me. And I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do in them mean time.
There are a few things that come into my head when she says we need to talk:
I still love my ex
I am pregnant with his child
I cheated on you
I want to leave you because you are too clingy
I want to leave you because I'm not really gay
My mom didn't really ground me, I thought we needed time apart --now we should break up
I can't stand you now that I actually know you
I have an STD
I'm moving out of state
I don't trust you
That's about the gist of it. That's my list of horrible things that I can think of that she might say. And it just kills me that I have to wait all this fucking time to hear whatever it is. I'm shaking with anticipation. And to think that whatever it is, she fucking told my best friend. My best friend. And wanted/s my best friend to tell me.
And she leaves tomorrow for nine days. Why does my life have to be full of drama?