FearNotTheQueer's picture

I think my girlfriend is an alcoholic. I'm almost sure of it, but who wants to ever have to come to that realization? Who wants to have to deal with the pain and pressure that comes from having an alcoholic significant other? Or the abuse? I thought it had all cleared up, that maybe it was just a phase, the new to college phase, it happens, right? Things seemed better too. Improved grades, less late night drunk calls (actually none at all). But then as it always seems to, things got worse. Band-uh! practices and more bonding time meant less us time and more her and them time. Less me ever actually getting to talk to her because there was always some party or some bonding to be at and now on her 19th birthday I get a hasty 30 second "conversation" of slurred words and loud music and voices in the background. Happy Birthday, Baby, I'm glad you're starting it off well. Don't get me wrong, I too get drunk every now and then. But its never more than 3 times a year.... yes.... a year. I realize that it more than someone my age should be doing, but lets face it, I'm a teenager and I don't believe in rules. Her drinking is something around 3-4 times a week. She drinks anytime someone hands her a bottle and becomes sore if it only contains water and not "water." Our nightly chats have gone from every night to maybe three times a week and never for more than an hour. True I tend to see her every weekend, but never without having to go to some bloody rehearsal and watching the drunken idiots prance around like fools. The last one being the worst. I'd started taking ill and she knew it, she had been driving and when she came out of practice she handed me the keys telling me that she was positive her blood alcohol level was above a legal limit for driving. I could barely see from the migraine I had, but she still drank, knowing full well that I needed her to drive. I feel as if I've been replaced by a more attractive woman. Hell I'd welcome that one more than this, at least she'd be sober. I feel as if I can't talk to her anymore. As if our entire relationship revolves around an unspoken secret now. How can I confront her about this? Is it even possible to tell her how I feel? Am I wrong? That's been known to happen too. So I'm pretty open to all possibilities at this point in my life.


Midnight's picture

You should

First of all I'm really sorry about whats going and I hope you can get though it. You should confront her it will be hard but to be in a good relationship you can't hide things from one another you need to be open and honst expecially since you said something about abuse above. If you talk to her about this it would be best to do it when she is not drunk. Make sure to mention how much it hurts you and how disappointed you are in her. If that doesn't work maybe one time you should film her then when she is sober show her how she acts maybe that will help her understand. If none of that works then maybe you lost her, it happens all the time in college. I've seen this happen to many of my friends and its a sad thing. Well thats my only advice I don't know if I helped at all but its the best i've got.