wtf why is everyone here in love!? *bows head* yes i'm jelous....FUCKERS!
date with the eskimo ended in *drumroll*....sex! very extreme sex...extremely bad that is!
hey look jeff...a break!
mum hasn't bothered calling this w'end...so that's a two week break from her...ouchies...specially since i'm supposed to be trying this thing with her where i don't act like a cunt...guess i'll have to keep trying.
STARTED THE PAINTING OF AVIV! yay! it's not spectacular but it's not craptacular either...i hate having to put underwear on him (his request...he's commissioned the work)...but i must say it looks sexy, i gave him tight boxer briefs...red with black elastic and there will be writing in white...i'm thinking i'll put his name and my signiature there.
Anyways it doesn't matter..i'll get it looking fucking perfect before i give it to him...and unfortunately you wont be seeing it...nobody but him and i will...that's what he wanted...for it to be a completely personal thing between us...isn't that kinda romantic?
i broke my siege on the alcohol...i've been drinking a little..but not that much...no where near like before...and still no pot so yay me! i've also managed o cut down on sex...only a few guys per week now...thanks to having a string of particularly bad one night stands...i'm starting to think Aviv has ruined me for all men here on in.
It's officially hot in Israel...this sucks big hairy pimply tits....because i detest sweating, detest summer clothes and HATE not wearing my boots :(
Soooo i need to go shopping...but i have no money...so that sucks too....and i vote we should go back to the ice age....can't wait till i move to norway
That reminds me, today i went through all my journals..i have about five here and two that i gave to people (one to the first boyfriend and one to my sister). these aren't normal journals darlings don't worry...these are sketch diaries...nobody really knows what i'm saying except me....but anyways i was looking through them. and it's funny how the sketches change in relation to what was going in my life at the time. anyway i found that they all had a lot of energy...in some it's erotic...some it's romantic...some it's depressing, sad, anxious....but in all there's lots of energy...except the one i'm working on now!! it fucking worries me!! maybe i peaked and i'm not just repeating and going through the motions? i need a new direction with art but nothing interests me...nothing, nobody and most especially not myself...so what am i to doooooo?
I slept more than 13 hours last night...guess i was tired :P
and slept 12 the night before...im turning into a fucking koala.
anyways im taking my grandma for a walk...gotta love te duality in my life....live and look after my grandparents in the day...fuck strange men like a rabbit in the dark...tada! i should wear a fucking cape.
love you long time