At prom, I must play straight

girlfromoz's picture

This is going to sound really stupid, but it's been driving me mad and I'd really like some advice.

I'm a junior at a really old, private, all-girls school. We have prom, but it's not like real prom because we usally don't have a lot of boys. This year they're inviting juniors and seniors from an all-boys military school in the area so the gender balnce will be a little more equal. Because it's usally not, we have a rule that students can't inivite girls from other schools to dances. I thought that since we were bringing in all these guys that maybe they'd make a slight execption, so I went to talk to our dean of students (who's a democrat, by the way). I explained to her how I've been dating this girl for quite a while now and how I'd really like to ask her to go to prom with me. Our dean, who I really like and is everybody's mom at school (though now I can barely look at her), just spits the rule back at me and that was that.

I'm really mad at myself for not trying to at least fight for it even though our administration is really converitive. My girlfriend's said she's totally willing to just pertend to be a guy and come anyway, but my school will kick you out for anything so I don't think that's a good idea. I've promised a friend that I'd go to the stupid thing (plus I already bought a dress), but I'm really fed up with the whole thing. It's times like these when I just wish I could be like everyone else.

Any adivce? Thanks. (Sorry that was so long.)

jeff's picture

Talk to...

whoever's the dean's boss.

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

Sykes's picture

Play the equal rights card,

Play the equal rights card, although that still might not work cuz the rest of the world still has problems with that too. You could still try, and explain that it's an all-girls school, that is bringing boys most of you probably don't know, to make you dance with: you're allowed to bring guy dates from other schools but not girl dates? Sexuality segregation much?
"I don't drink booze cause my heart's explosive.
I gave up food cause the shit's expensive.
I know you want to be me, but baby it ain't easy!"
- Semi Precious Weapons

Peregrine's picture

just go to the prom, but

just go to the prom, but don't dance with anyone. sit right in front of the dean and look miserable. then if you are lucky then you might get to bring your girl next year. i would bring my bf but he is in ny and i am in tx. which sucks cuz i get in free and so does my date!!!!!(which i don't have on of those in the area)

"Love is patent. Love is kind." I will wait for you and I to be together. I will wait untill the end of the earth if I must!

Neutrina's picture

Echoing Biohazard. You could

Echoing Biohazard. You could probably even talk to the ACLU about it; I'm sure they'd love to hear from you.
Definitely fight it. If they try to kick you out, fight that.

"When the people begin to reason, all is lost" - Voltaire

jeff's picture


Private school = no federal funding = no need to follow federal equal access laws. Also, they can make rules without needing to justify them more.

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

girlfromoz's picture

It's the principle...

of the thing that gets to me. I mean, I get that at an all girls school the last thing we need is a bunch of people bringing their friends, but, whether or not they intended it, the rule does discriminate. The thing is that the administration is very conservitive (they wouldn't let a friend of mine set up a branch of the Secular Student Aliance, which is not, as our principle thinks, about being athist, it's about the 1st Amendment), so, unless I want to make a massive deal out of this, there's not a lot I can do. I mean, it's just prom. Is it worth it? I'm the only person who's more or less 100% out at my school, which doesn't really help.

jeff's picture


It certainly could help the closeted girls in younger classes know that the tide is turning...

"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis

gaynow's picture

I'm with Jeff--you can't

I'm with Jeff--you can't possibly be the only gay girl in your school, you're just the only one who's out. Plus, I agree, it is the principle of the thing. Go back and talk to your dean, talk to her boss, talk to a supportive teacher... Someone. And keep us posted, yeah?

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

girlfromoz's picture

I'll talk to...

a couple of people at my school and see what they think. Even if I can't do anything about this, I'm not going to let the school forget that we're there.
I'll keep you updated.

Strawberry-chan's picture

That really sucks. I agree

That really sucks.
I agree with the people before me.
Talk to some people with power, make some good arguments...

kaj's picture

I wish I had better advice,

I wish I had better advice, but all I can say is: You gotta fight for your right to party.....with another girl :-)

Oh, and welcome to Oasis

shanfan's picture



dont want to change who you are just because someone was being rude. you should be happy, #1 because you have someone who loves you #2 you had the courage to ask your dean. if she doesnt like the fact your bi/lesbian then she can shove it.

JB's picture

what does her being a

what does her being a democrat have to do with anything?

perple's picture

I don't really have anything

I don't really have anything to say... I just wanted to say that's awful.