milk-tea's picture

so, he came over today.
it was incredibly, unbelievably, amazing.
just, everything.
we spent the whole day together.
in bed, talking, having sex, giggling, having pillow fights, etc etc.
watched a movie.
he would kiss me and then smile so big i thought his face was going to break.
we're not back together, though.
interestingly enough, it didnt even cross my mind
to ask him out again.
because i fucking know now that it wont work.
not now.
when he cant deal most of the time with the fact that hes alive,
and quite honestly, neither can i.
im just really happy right now.
i dont feel empty.
i hope, i really fucking hope, that i wont later.
being this happy is always terrifying
because i know how hard i'll crash, when i crash- which is inevitable.

i want to live with him.

i fucking love that kid with all my heart.


music is life's picture

Thats good that you're happy

Thats good that you're happy and hope everything works out for the best

timpy's picture

awe! not fair! i wish i

awe! not fair!
i wish i could have had those moments today
im glad your happy though!
just stay strong.
keep your head up
remember, what goes up must come down.

"Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed By a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again"

Fiona Rosge's picture

Wow thats complicated, hope

Wow thats complicated, hope you can hold on though
Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire