OK guys I'm back now. I hadn't posted in about a year I believe and lots has happened. But so anyway my picture is not working....IDK why yet but its all good. Ok so as an update add me on facebook, my e-mail is in my profile, you don't even have to tell me who you are I will accept you.
I guess I should talk about my life as opposed to my contact information. Well I've matured a lot and know how to deal with liking guys and what not now. I used to like half my class in a week, but I've "calmed down". I now understand why I fluctuated so much last year, it was because I was a freshman and the whole experience of being in high school made almost every guy likable. But it soon became apparent that this was not the case. Now, don't get me wrong, its not like I'm new at this, I've known I was gay since I was 8 and came out when I was 9 when I fully understood what the term meant. But being in a new environment will turn me into a "new gay" all over again. What I mean by that is that I went back to acting like I did when I was 8, liking every guy I saw. This became a huge issue last year because we have a lot of pretty cute boys in our school. I model for an agency in New York City, so I have seen some of the best looking guys on the east coast, but for non-models some of the guys in our school are pretty cute. And being a freshman they all were like candy to me. I wanted to pick out as many pieces as I could and have them all at once. This year, I made new friends, made adjustments to how I act and how I am as an overall person. I understand how to deal with situations such as those now.
I've liked three of my best friends this year. At the beginning of this year as a Sophomore I liked a freshman. Being one of the most known popular kids in my school this was a shock and almost shameful to me because in our school it is frowned upon to like a underclassman let alone go out with one (everyone knows I am gay, so who I go out with would be public news) But so I liked this guy named Nick. He is really funny and sweet, and at the time I thought he was extremely attractive. But he also became one of my best friends as we got to know each other. This is a terrible situation to be in. At the time he was everything I looked for in a guy and he was also everything I couldn't have. It hurt so bad to like him because we were friends, every time I hung out with him it reminded me of how I couldn't go out with him. Slowly but surely I got over him and I stopped liking him. Then this new kid moved to our school. His name is Nikolai and he moved here from Norway about three months ago. He was like the shiny new toy that everyone wanted. He is one of the better looking guys in our grade so every girl wanted him because one, he was new, and ad two because of his looks. So the first few weeks he was here everyone thought he was gay. He acted really gay and had many things about him that might give off this impression. So I got to know him really well and we still hang out today but I like him a lot. I fell for him really hard and again, just like with Nick, it hurt. Then the winter formal came around. Of course being teenagers we came to the dance half drunk and some of us high and as many of you know that makes people more rowdy than usual. I grinded with about half my grade and he was with me the whole time. It was a group of about 6 of us who stayed together. At this point in time I did still like him and yet when I saw him grinding with different girls I didn't get jealous. Even when he hookup with with this girl (for about 20 minute might I add) it didn't bother me. It was then that I realized I was changing as a person an maturing more. Now Nikolai and I are just friends.
In math class I have another friend also named Nick jk his name is Javier. Javier and I only became close recently about the same time Nikolai and I did. But now we are best friends. Javier or Jav for short is one of the funniest people I know. He also is extremely hot. Jav is just an all around attractive person, and it wasn't until I started hanging out with him did I realize this. He is such an easy person to get along with and an even easier person to fall for. So right now I like Jav a lot. I don't love him but I like him more than "like like" (sorry for the third grade phrase) But having dealt with the semi-easy Nikolai situation and the hard Nick situation this is almost easy. Nothing has changed between us. Jav and I still joke around all the time. I don't see him any differently. It is like an attraction but stronger like a crush. I don't know how to explain it accurately but it is sort of like having a HUGE crush on someone minus the awkward staring, admiring from afar, shyness and that whole bit. So all in all I am happy with my current situation. I would like to have a steady relationship soon but for now all is well.
Truth Takes Time