What to say?

thinks's picture

Just thought I'd shove a blurb on here since it's been long overdue.

I've almost graduated from my college as a freaking administrative assistant...something I don't even think I want to do. What kind of gay guy ends up in the administrative assistant field anyway? I'm more into writing and psychology. I just had to choose this stupid program I guess, I did it of my own volition of course but still, I should have chosen something else.

None of my family members except the one I told way back know that I'm gay and its getting kind of old. I'm so sick and tired of sending everyone of my family members the email updates about my life without being able to say anything that I'd like to say about the aspects of my life that just happen to be gay. Though I doubt I'll do anything about it for some time. I don't feel like my sexuality is a big enough aspect of my life to stir up the Christian based confounds of my families inner structure.

So I guess what it all adds up to is that I thought I'd write something on here for a change. Where everyone is obviously going to know that there’s something about me that isn't exactly straight.

I don't know how to write a really good journal entry on here. I surf along every now and then and it seems that nowadays so many people just make the shortest blurbs that I begin to wonder to what extent my words will be heard if I type everything I'm truly thinking, which tends to be a lot.

Anyway I guess my social life is kinda stagnant right now. I mean, it’s not stagnant but I have no guys that I’m into in my life right now. No guys that are into me. Just friends. I see no potential for any potential either. I don’t even bother looking for it because I know I won’t find it. Sorry if that sounds negative, I really didn’t mean it to.

I’m thinking about continuing my education in something different than what I’m doing right now, which I’ll get my A.A.S. degree in anyway. I’m thinking about transferring to a college that actually has a gay life side to it. Maybe if that happens I’ll actually find something a bit more than what I’ve come to expect of life right now?

I honestly don’t even know whether I’m looking for someone. Honestly I don’t think I even feel the need for a boyfriend. I just want someone close and mutually understanding.

I suppose I should stop now because if I keep going no one will want to read my long entry and besides, there’s no guarantee I’ll even get any responses. It’s ok though. I assume someone will read this.

Comments

Peregrine's picture

I just want someone close

I just want someone close and mutually understanding.
generaly thata is what a boyfriend does. it is not all about sex whatever adam may say. i want to know some more, so if you want me to give you a more detailed awnswer then pm me plz.

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howie's picture

"Thinks" post.

Mr Think, you voiced your thoughts perfectly. And it is never too late to change your chosen academic field. It's harder if you wait longer. A boyfriend will come at some point. Patience is needed. You don't want to settle for someone not right for you. Your assesment with regards to not wanting to stir up the Christian confounds of your family by coming out is probably correct judgement in your situation. YOU get to decide. Overall, you sound like an intelligent, REAL person. Good luck to you, son. P:S: Your thoughts on blogging are right on also.