Back In

centerfielder08's picture

I'm going to go back to the hospital (I hope ) tomorrow. During group therapy they always ask if we can contract for safety. I've always answered "yes" because I've felt safe. I no longer feel this way. I tried again. Yes....SIBs. Shit. Anyways, I'm going to say "no" tomorrow, but I'm nervous as to what will happen. I want to just go back to the hospital. I can't survive without it. I'm sorry for ranting as I know half of you hate me.
-Eli.

Comments

Zephyr's picture

It's not much of a rant, and

It's not much of a rant, and I wouldn't say that most of us hate you. I don't hate you. I think you need help, but you're doing the right thing and are seeking it. So kudos to you, it shows that you really want it and are strong. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, it's scary. So I hope that you go through with it because I think that if you don't feel safe than something should be done about it. If you want to talk. Message me. I'm here. *hugs* <3

Did you meet your fortune teller?
...
Do it up, it's always stellar
---RHCP

centerfielder08's picture

What I said...that's not

What I said...that's not just talk. I'm going to answer "no" tomorrow. I am scared about the consequences, but I know (I guess) deep down that I should live.

Peregrine's picture

i don't hate you, . . .

i don't hate you, . . . preturbed at you yes, hate you no. and i am sure everyone else feels the same!

Wait — are those babies? The Gays can make babies now?!?! In pairs?!?!
Please save us Maggie Gallagher and NOM!

Fiona Rosge's picture

wqre

I can't say I hate you because I don't know you, so...group. I go to an anxiety group and so far it has seemed less then promising but whatever...I'm not sure I could ever go to a hospital, they frighten me tramensly (terribly sorry for my spelling I'm not doing very well right now am I?). But if that could help you then I think that is what you need to do but as my oppinion I think that you need to make sure that going to the hospital does not become a habbit, because if I belive I'm correct if you go in there more then once or somthing it goes in some record? Do you understand what I'm trying to say? But then at the same time I've read enough of those types of books to understand the power of it, which is another reason I hope I never go becuase I fear I will get addicted to it. What I'm trying to say is just try not to make that your man priority
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire
Good-by

centerfielder08's picture

yeah. see, I know part of it

yeah. see, I know part of it is the comfort of going, but the thing is, I can't promise I'll stay alive this weekend. And I need to see those people or I'll be in too much pain. So It's a type of withdrawl?

I'm in an intensive partial program...I go to "school" in this outpatient place from 8:00-11"30 and then from 11:30-3:00 I have therapy groups. I like individual better, but still. In our first group, we're asked about mood, if we're safe, blah blah blah.

I'm an anxious person, too! :(

Sykes's picture

no we don't h8 u. i luvs u

no we don't h8 u. i luvs u and i'm sure everybody else does too 8D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's more addictive than pistacios... Well, have you ever eaten just one pistacio?"
- Abby from NCIS

centerfielder08's picture

really? yay. okay. sigh,

really? yay. okay.
sigh,

dykedancer's picture

I don't hate you.

I don't even know you, so that's probably not much of a comfort, granted. But I read some of what you wrote previously- if you need help, *get help.* Just doing that makes you braver than me. You'll be okay, eventually.

It made sense in my head, I swear.

“The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people.”
-Benito Mussolini