I kind of hate myself for tihs because it was totally avoidable. I was talking to my friend at lunch about how I had to eat lunch with B and O, wow, I just realized that I abreiviated them BO. Anyway. I was complaining about that when I turned around and B was standing in line for lunch, and at my school and how loud I was talking I was sure she was in earshot. She was looking right at me. So I excused myself from talking to my friend. Sulked a little and went over to where we eat lunch.
This is where I was greeted by both O and B. Well, mostly just O, we are def on better terms. O and B talk throughout the lunch and are all buddy-buddy when last I know they hate each other. Fine, I don't care who you are friends with. It just seems like they are switching teams on me. And all the while I feel like shit because of how stupid I acted with my friend about having to eat lunch with the two of them. It's really only because I still have feelings for B.
B still hasn't called me back. And apparently she's going out this weekend and telling her parents that she's staying at O's house. They aren't really that cool, but they cover for each other like this, or have in the past. I feel like shit. I don't want to have feelings for her anymore. It hasn't ever worked out between us. And I want to blame it all on her, but I know thats not how it works. It isn't all her fault. I am partly to blame too. But I would say that I have gotten most of my shit together while she is still working on it. I just don't know why I am still attracted to her.