Hi. My name isn't Gabby but I am 21. However, my parents insist on treating me like a sixteen year-old (and I suppose I let them). I am not rebellious. I love my parents. I appreciate everything they have done for me (and that's a lot). It's difficult for me to break away. It's kind of like our family is a living organism and each person in the family is a vital organ or vessel. All the organs and vessels are connected and twisted around each other. If one separates from the rest...the organism dies (and I imagine a horrible tortuous death). I don't want to cause this. I don't want to by the catalyst. But I feel like I'm suffocating.
I am 21. Not 16. (However, I believe a good portion of sixteen year-olds are allowed to date and to drive). Did I mention I was 21? I live at home (I do go to college). It's part of the "PLAN". Oh you don't know about the "PLAN"? Well, the "PLAN" is an imaginary document to which my father (and my mother of course) refers to regarding all life decisions however seemingly small. The "PLAN" simply is what my father thinks is "best" for the family. Everything must be done in the cheapest, most efficient way. Everyone must coordinate schedules. They must know where I am at all times. I have never been kissed. I have never had sex. Again, I remind you that I am a 21 year old college student.
Oh and I am gay (which explains why I am ranting on this website). Okay, I may very well be bisexual because I am attracted both guys and girls...but who knows because....I don't date/kiss/or have sex with anyone boy or girl! Also...the whole being gay thing throws a wrench in things. I'm not "out". (How could I be out? I'm not even technically "in"). But....argh I don't know. Madness.
My parents are not awful people. They love me and I love them. They do so much for me! They would move mountains for me! But...they still treat me like I'm sixteen.
Which I'm not.
Now, I realize I have to be the one to change this. I have to develop a backbone and make the change I want in my life. I have to fight for it. Ranting and wallowing in it won't change anything. But I need a sounding board. I need people to keep me honest. Otherwise I'm afraid I'll be sucked back into (or guilted/manipulated) to stay passive and docile within the "PLAN". That's why I'm writing. I have to get all of this embarassing stuff about how overly dependent/scared I am out and start taking strong steps forward. I don't want to graduate and still be in the same place. I can't fathom it. Will you help?