my mother is leaving for Japan tomorrow, and coming back on my last day of school. I am freaking the fuck out. We're really close, and she keeps order in the house. But with her gone.. my dad is essentially completely incapable of taking care of himself, let alone us. So for the next two weeks, I'll be doing the laundry, the dishes, cooking the meals, packing my sisters' lunches at 5 in the morning, putting them to bed, making sure they shower, keeping the house semi-clean, remembering what days my sisters need to go places, taking care of our dog..
it's going to be so lonely.
i feel like crying.
i don't really have much else going on in my life.
i'm very excited for Iowa and for writing.
i talked to Jake's brother for a couple hours the other night. It was really good. Weirdly, I think I'm starting to sort of ..like.. him? I dont know. I don't really want to think about it.
And as for Jake himself, I haven't talked to him for at least four days. It's funny, how easily he's ejected me out of his life. Sad, mostly.
I despise so many of my friends, its getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't want to get back into a relationship or fall in love with anyone for a really long time. I'm not ready, yet, to do that again. It's too much.