I wander the ailes of my ever changing subconcious,
I realize my actions are pretentious but I do not understand how to change it,
Am I that bad? Do you even care for me anymore?
Best friend, why don't I feel it?
I pored my heart out years ago, to someone who seemed confused to take it.
And still I hang on to those small strings of hope,
I just wish I was strong enough to find the truth for myself
But I am terrified that after all my years of yerning,
after all those months of begging for your affection,
they would disinigrate with the words I want to ask you
And I'm sorry but I'm not strong enough to lose you
Keep your head up, you tell me
Why? I ask you, but still I'm so use to obaying you. So I'll try....
You enter my world, somehow I never expected that
Its all so firmilure as with her...
Its happening all over agian, please don't be jealous
Just call my darling, no I beg you not to...
I will fall to my knees with false love for you if you do.
That is one of my unwritten words you must never call me
Or I will love you without knowing why.
You use to...god I miss that pookie,
But I've tried hard not to bring up the past for you.
I'm weak I know. But I love you, in small ways
Nothing worthy of a proper relationship I do not want to worry you
And here you are, and I am falling for you too.
It was somthing I never expected...
And there you are, I try hard to be who I told you,
I try hard to trust, and i do!
That is not the part I have trouble with...it is the doubting,
I doubt the reality of this, of your words
I doubt the reality of my affection for you
And that frightens me, because I'm weak
But I refuse to hurt you.
Its all so simular, we will never meet will we?
San Franisco, is how long away and still our bridge never crosses
And that place that you live is how far away, I doubt our highways connected.
I have realized the falts in my heart strings,
that I shall only fall for people far out of reach?
Will it always be that way?
I think I deserve it don't you?
Or do I not? Do you think I am not ready? How long shall I have to wait?
What would you both like me to do?
What should I tell you, what shall I not?
I want you...is that to much for all of you?
Yes darling, the voices answer back
Oh god I wish I was stronger