There have been plenty of times in my life when I've just felt like I needed an outlet. This is obviously one of them. I actually had an Oasismag journal back in High School, when I was first exploring and figuring out my sexuality - the uid and password, however, are long gone (and probably "good riddance" - who knows what I was writing about back then...
I'm currently 24 years old, single, bisexual. I, like everyone else, thought that college would give me a chance to grow in and learn more about my sexuality and identity, but I think I actually took some significant steps backward. I (accidentally, perhaps - long story) went to a pretty conservative school right smack in the middle of the Bible Belt. I joined a fraternity, dated one girl from Sophomore year on, etc. I was out to a couple of people by choice, the rest of the school (it felt like) by default. It's what happens when you go to a small school, really.
So it's been two years since college. I've been through graduate school, where I met and was surrounded by amazing, open-minded friends and acquaintances. Despite a few false starts (very dramatic ones, at that), I've never had a relationship with a man which I would describe as anything close to successful. I still don't feel completely comfortable in any kind of "community," though I certainly feel like I could use a community these days. I'm lonely.
I'll start a new job tomorrow - a really good one, too - and my hope has always been that whenever something like that happens - something new happens in my life - that I'll accidentally bump heads with some gorgeous 20-something and end up in a relationship. I don't know - maybe I'm not ready for one. Maybe God just doesn't want me to date yet. It's hard not to think sometimes that I'm just going to end up a bachelor forever - that all of my best dating experience is behind me and I blew it and there's no going back.
Anyway - this is my ranty introduction. More later surely.