I'm deciding when to come out. Being me, I'm seeing what schedule to put this on, and how to do it. I wouldn't really care about coming out, its not really a big deal in my life, but I want to be out before college. I mean, I eventually want to date someone. Not being out is kind of detrimental to that. Yeah.
I was thinking about this year, but I'm a little to chickenshit for that, and I'm afraid I'll be way to nervous to try to present myself properly. I don't mean to have any kind of grand dramatic announcement or anything like that, just starting to be honest when people ask me or mentioning it in passing, but I still don't know if I''ll be able to present or defend myself without making a fool of myself. And i want to at least to pretend to be confident when I do this, because I know it will be taken a lot better that way.
There's also the part about who to tell. I mean my friends first, and I know I'll be fine there, but I would like to be open to my teammates after that and that is going to be a bit sketchy.
It's also more complicated because I don't know what exactly to tell them. I can't say I'm gay, because I don't know if I am or not. I know I like girls, but I don't know if I like boys too. And I don't want to rule out the possibility of dating someone I like just because I'm too afraid to try to further explain myself, which I can see myself doing. And saying you're bi has an even worse stigma attached to it than just saying your gay, at least from my experience. So I don't know.
I mean, there's no great rush for me, but I just don't have a simple route to go, which is basically the only thing holding me back. I mean, it's simple on paper "Just Come out" but its a lot more complicated in my head and in person.