You say its hard...and god I don't know what I want. I want....to much I suppose. I want to be in your bed, to feel your house...you. Because your room, your home that is the biggest things I crave about a person next to touch. Just to say that I can lie in your bed, god I can't tell you of that craving.
And what I wanted to tell you was that I finally figured it out, that it is not about him, and that he has someone else. And now so do I and because of that it would be distasful for me to continue. It took me months and a lot of friends oppinions...including yours....but I finally figured it out and now I'm going to make sure its over. Because I want to be truthfull to you. So I'm letting him go, and I am forgetting everything that happened in Biology and remembering that you are the one I want.
I know you said your sad that nothing has changed, but honey what did you expect to happen? If you want me to, when you want me too I am going to tell them. Anything if there was a change to let me see you. I am afraid of the outcome, but eventually it will be worth it, it just has to be...
And I've been trying....trying to get into contact to you. But I'm afraid that you are to...immobile to. And now I am not sure if I'm suppose to make the step or let you take it. But I do miss you, and your voice...and although through my lack I cannot say the exact description of my feeling for you I do love you, in my own way. It may not be true, die forever, jump off a brige love but it as much as I know how to give, and its real. Because when I think about the times that this has happened before for people I "thought" I loved, it was more....obsessive, this feels more, long term, more realistic. And I want you to know that.
So there is what I have to say