Proud momma

Zephyr's picture

My sister's softball team won! I feel like a proud momma. I go to all of her games and cheer her on. A little surprising that the gay daughter isn't the one playing softball right? xD Yeah, but my family is pretty liberated, and I like it. They are 4-8. One more game.

Okay, I've had my proud momma moment. But... now I'm not so proud of myself. I spent the night at my ex's house friday night. She's a good friend of mine. She needed my support because she misses her bf (he had to move five hours away) because of his family or whatever. And she was missing him. We (her and I) talked to him on speaker phone for like... four hours. He's a pretty cool guy. And I don't know how it came up, but he said that it wouldn't bother him if she and I made out. I was taking pictures for her to send to him (I know it's bad) but I was helping out a friend. And they talked "privately" which meant I couldn't hear his part of the conversation, but she didn't leave the room. And he said he didn't care what we did together (her and I) as long as he knew about it (like not details, but like what we did and that she was honest).

She and I talked about it after she got off the phone with him. And we said that emotions can't really get in the way. We are friends and that comes first. I kissed her. And I don't think that's the part that took me by surprise (well, kind of because I don't usually make the first move) I think it was that something felt different than it ever has with her. And then we were at pride together the next day and it kind of upset me that she wouldn't kiss me. We are surrounded by lots of gay people that won't care (usually it causes a lot of attention in a bad way to kiss someone of the same sex here) and she wouldn't because she was afraid that my mom would see... I understood that but it still... idk it got to me.

But more or less I'm not proud because even though it's not cheating. I think I hurt someone in the process. I want to say that I'm not married to you, and that shit, but I want you to know that I still care. Besides, you don't want to put up with my bullshit, and me being honest, there is quite a lot of it. So I want you to know that this isn't a personal attack on you, and I didn't want to hurt you.

Also. Someone from my grade school contacted me on facebook. It was quite amusing. Ever had mean thoughts about people you went to school with? Yeah, mine came true. I got thin, she gained weight. The jock is unattractive. However, everyone still loves him and his twin. I think it's the twin factor. Oh, well I'm hoping they're still good people and that's stupid bullshit materialistic shit anyway. God this post makes me sound like a bitch. I hope no one thinks too seriously about it.