School's Over! YEAH! And I need advice!

will's picture

School's over. I feel GOOD. Finally.
Slept at 5 in the morning last night writing the god damn science report. And floated through my last exam. FYI, it's physics.
Summer break is finally in my grip, but all I have planned is summer school at a Catholic school... I didn't fail a course, just wanna get ahead. Yep i'm a nerd =)
So, does anyone have any more exciting summer plans to share? I bet you'll make me super jealous.

After I shared my excitement about summer, here comes the "I need advice" part. One of my friend told me that this grade 12 guy plans to ask her out. Now, I've never consciously admitted to myself that I like her, but when I heard that, I can't help but feel a tint of envy. Good thing is, she went on further to say that she wouldnt go out with him becuz he's congraduating next year, and there's really no point making this an one-summer-only thing. But this incidence has really rang a bell in my head. What if she did go out with a guy? Which is highly likely to happen considering she's been pursued by many. A combination of pretty and smart. Who can resist that =)

So the dilemma really is, I can either confess to her about my feelings towards her (did I mention she's bi?), risking the possibility of 1)rejection(she might just think of me as a friend), 2) undermining our well-distanced friendship; OR I can stay the way as it, and rationalize myself not to fall for her. I mean, it is kinda weird asking your close friend out, isnt it? Like she might feel bad for rejecting you even if she want nothing but be friend with you, and things get awkward between each other. Another friend of mine always tell me there's a line in frienship. If you cross that line, then the possibility of being in an intimate relationship with that person is nearly 0, meaning, you know each other too well. I think i havent crossed that line yet hopefully, I dont know her THAT well, but i'm having trouble deciding which side of the fence i wanna be on. So yeah, wanna help me out a little? =) Any advice is appreciated!

Comments

Disney's picture

Congrats!

So I'm whiling away the last bit of time now on Oasis snooping here and there and what do I find aside from a creative Canadian forum thread? A creative Canadian straight outta' T-Dot!

Way to be on the USA-dominated site yo!

Congrats again, school being done is always a blessing, and good for getting ahead and also keeping more busy with the summer class; are you graduating in 1 year or 2 years then though?

So, advice time, almost too easy IMO, and you should toooootally go with this:
Don't ask her OUT, ask her out someWHERE.

Confused? More simple than it sounds maybe, or maybe not. You don't *need* to specify that you like her to make a move! What if you asked her to hang out at Second Cup, or browse Indigo bookshelves (and saunter over to some Lifestyle section and accidentally knock over a lesbian book and have heads huddled over it and then hands in the right hands and la dee da), or get a meal, or something more summery - like ice cream/park time/milkshakes/juice somewhere sunny? Then talk it up and maybe use a hand touch here or there, and maybe end it with 'Hey, I just wanted to let you know that was really fun... do you want to hang out again tomorrow/this weekend?' or something along those lines. That way, if she's way into you, she'll express it; if she's uncertain or doesn't clue in, you get another hang out, and if she's not into you, it'll be more clear.

The major benefit is neither of you having to explicitly say 'I want you, I don't want you, I don't want to hurt you' types of things, and if its ambiguous and flirty, well then you've got a REAL excuse to more formally ask her out on a DATE or express your feelings, but I think it'd be better to gauge things off a more neutral encounter like this, which you can push a certain way, and which also helps firm up friendship if anything, while reducing chances of rejection.

Or you could just take her to Zelda's or something more Church Street style to give her inspiration.

Good luck!

You're Amazing.

will's picture

Thanks a lot for the advice!

Thanks a lot for the advice!
Yeah i'm graduating next year =) Your English is super good considering you are living at Quebec. My friend is going there at summer to learn French.

Hm... I should definitely "ask her out someWHERE"! Just having trouble coming up with an excuse, I'm too shy to be flirty, any cure for that? And somehow in the back of my mind, I think i'm not good enough for her. I guess dating is like skill, the more you do it, the better it gets. Really appreciate the golden advice! I should definitely ask u for more next time!

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

tenmilestilts's picture

thanks disney...

i'm in the same situation, cept the girl i like hasn't been asked out. (thank god. i would freak out.) but yeah, definitely gonna try something like that. =)
---
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!