So, my first post is angsty and over 9000 miles long. x( Oh dear.

Super Duck's picture

So, this is the first time I posted here and stuff... I decided to come here because I need some advice and to vent or something. I tend to ramble a lot, so this is probably going to end up being the longest post in the history of the internet. I apologize. I also probably sound so dumb in this, but it's late at night, I'm extremely frustrated by my Nintendo DS, and teen angst ahoy! (I am a high school student. ...Unfortunately. I hope everyone else isn't like, twice my age. x_x)

This past school year, I met this really amazing girl, and we pretty much immediately clicked. She was in all of my classes, and we first started talking to each other thanks to my English teacher making us do a project together at the way beginning of the year. After that, we sat together in about two or three of our classes and would talk every day. She would defend me or help me change the subject whenever someone made fun of me, which happened a lot.

Possibly my favorite memory ever of her was back in November/December when one of our ultra-conservative teachers brought up Prop 8. It brought a mean person to start making comments, but after class, I was talking to my friend (the amazing girl, in case this is hard to follow...) and she started talking about how homophobia is stupid and stuff like that. I live in a very homophobic area, so this was a big deal.

In January or so, we started getting closer, and I started doing stuff like hugging her and touching her when I talk to her (and not realizing it), which is rare for me because I don't like physical contact from most people. A bunch of people noticed and started giving me hell over it. It upset me a lot, because I did begin to really think I liked her. I realized it for real when she was sick one day, and I couldn't bear the thought of it; I just wanted to skip school and go take care of her and and and... Anyway.

I think she knew/knows about it, possibly. And she gives me mixed signs. :( She had a boyfriend for a little while and talked about guys, but she would also occasionally talk about girls, and one time she purposely showed me up her skirt. And she is never weirded out when I flirt with her. In fact, sometimes I suspect that she likes it.

So, fast forward to the last week of school. Everyone is busy reviewing for finals. I was attempting to concentrate on stupid, stupid math, which goes smoothly until she told me she is being made to go back to her old school. She is NOT happy about having to go back, and neither is anyone else because pretty much everyone was friends with her. I started crying, but I turned so she couldn't see. It was even more upsetting because all of my really good friends are going away, and this was just icing on the cake. Later that day, I decided I just couldn't stand it, so I ran up to her and gave her a big hug and told her I'd miss her so much. She hugged me and said she'd miss me too.

School's out now. It's been out for a few weeks. I feel really bad that I've only talked to her a few times, but I don't want to seem annoying. But when we do talk, it's usually for a good length of time, like an hour or so. I talked to her earlier this week, and she seemed really excited to hear from me, told me she missed me, things like that. So, we were supposed to see each other this week, but she was kind of busy because of having to work at some thing with little kids, so she told me she'd have to see about it. I sent her a text a couple days ago asking if she could come or not, and she never responded. x( I don't know why... She said she wanted to see me! She said she misses me! So, I don't understand?

If anyone read all this, they get my undying respect. I ramble waaay too much. D:

Comments

ferrets's picture

hahaha.....

you think this is a long post? haha, its nothin, and most of the ppl on here arnt going to be to much older then u if ur in highschool, i mean damn im 13. im sorry bout your friend/crush/watever, i almost had my best friend move to russia this year, but her family couldnt afford to ship all there stuff, and such i hope u love it here on oasis. were all partialey insane, but in the good kind of way. and ha i got the first comment on this journal ha!

if you riase the banner of scotland, you raise the banner of freedom!
~willam wallace

Super Duck's picture

Well, it's good that this

Well, it's good that this isn't a 'long' post, then, because I actually tried to keep this one short. XD I like to explain things in detail.

It's also good to know I'm not the absolute youngest person here then too.

Russia, wow... Well, at least she got to stay.

And thanks for the welcome! I bet I'm going to like it here.

(Your icon is cute, by the way. I love ferrets! When I was in third grade or so, I had a friend who had an adorable pet ferret. I kinda want one, but sadly, my parents don't like them.)

AlwaysFallingDeeper's picture

You dont ramble too much...

Try not to worry too much about her. Same thing happened to me. And no one is twice your age on here so dont worry about that. lol. I dont have to much advice. All I can say is just relax, enjoy your summer. You will meet another amazing girl that will like you back. You shouldnt care about being a lesbian or bi, whatever you are...be proud. Even in you live in a town thats full of homophobia. Dont worry about them. They dnot matter. JUst live your life. Find a girl thats good for you and be happy. And as for that other girl that moved, if she isnt texting or calling you back, forget about her. She isnt worth it. Unless she's really busy or gotten her phone taken away...just live life one day at a time and all will be well...(:"It's not where you've been, it's where you're going."

niks121997's picture

Hi

First off, welcome to Oasis! I read through your whole post and enjoyed reading it. As I was reading I couldn't help thinking about communication and how it's amazing people are able to communicate at all given the numerous steps involved. It is easy, even commonplace, to be confused or misinterpret interactions, and I'm not entirely sure what to make of your friend's behavior.

There could be many reasons she hasn't texted or called back yet, which makes it all the more confusing. I say see what happens while doing everything you can to enjoy yourself and take it a day at a time to slightly echo AFD's comment above.

As for having people be twice as old as you, I know I'm not. However, I am almost twice as old as ferrets, which I just now realized. Ha.

Super Duck's picture

Yeah, social interaction is

Yeah, social interaction is pretty confusing for me sometimes. I don't know what to think about some of the things she does, either. A few people I've talked to think she may possibly be a little bit into me, but the general consensus seems to be that she's straight. I do remember this one time she started talking about things she and her 'future wife' would do, and only "corrected" herself when people were rude to her. But her facebook says she's straight. So I don't know...

I know there are a lot of possible reasons she hasn't contacted me yet. She has been very busy this week helping do some sort of summer program with little kids... the name escapes me right now, though. It's also possible her phone was taken away.

5thstory's picture

That wasn't such a long

That wasn't such a long post. And what did your DS do now? Mine did the worst thing ever, it jumped into a pool a couple of months ago. Oh well, I'm a little old for DS now- :P

I agree with AlwaysFallingDeeper try not to worry too much about her, and things will work themselves out- after all, what's meant to work works out, and what isn't meant to work out... ends in divorce and terribly expensive barrister fees.

Oh, and welcome to Oasis. Don't worry, most of us are still on our teens (althout a good bunch of us are about to leave them), and the older ones are terribly nice. Pay attention to Lol-taire, she is the best. Watch out for Jeff- behind all his sarcasm there is (sometimes) good advice. Other times it's just sarcasm, but oh well.

" . . . The sun does not shine upon this fair earth to meet frowning eyes, depend upon it." Charles Dickens

Super Duck's picture

My DS doesn't like to hold a

My DS doesn't like to hold a charge for some reason. D: It goes red at the worst times possible. I'm also currently frustrated with my Animal Crossing game for it because I'm constantly resetting the towns I get due to it giving me the same characters over and over, who I don't like. x_x I regret not keeping my town with the cute puppy...

Nonsense! You're never too old for DS! xP No, really, my mom's friend, who is in her early forties, plays.

I know, but I really hope that things do work out. D:

in rainbows's picture

damn.....

all you guys beat me D:
and what ferrets said is kinda true, this isnt the longest entry ever. and maybe something happened, like maybe she got into trouble and wasnt able to txt you back. dont worry about it. everything happens for a reason.
oh and welcome to oasis :D

"in true love the smallest distance is too great, yet the greatest distance can be broken."

will's picture

That friend of yours do sound like a nice girl.

That friend of yours do sound like a really nice girl. I'm sry about her moving away. Life is like this, people come, people go, but i'm sure your friendship will last. Since she moved away, maybe tell her upfront how you feel about her and see how she would respond. If you guys are really close, like i assume you guys are, then this confession wouldnt change much about your relationship. Guessing is just too hard. But then again, personally, I would never go for my friends, that's awkward for me, but it might work out for you. And super welcome to Oasis! Cheers!

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

RegretShouldntExist's picture

*Yells* I AM THE YOUNGEST!

*Yells* I AM THE YOUNGEST! ^_^
AHEM...
hey hey welcome to oasis hehe...Im kinda only 12...soooooo...yea me, you, and matt can party xD Us being probably the youngest people xD heheheh so um anywaysssssssssssssss...................osh that wasnt a long post xD Adam A writes ALOT ALOT ALOT more than you! besides does anyone know where he has been??!?!?!?!?!?!? OK im rambling just like you! heheheheh anywaysssss....Well its kinda cute that you like her ^_^ It kinda looks like she may like you...i dont know...Well the thing with flirting is that maybe she likes it, maybe she is oblivious, i honestly dont know. Im sorry to here that she is moving :( ummm watelse....OH OH OH *squeals* Welcome to Oasisssssssssssssssssss :) *coughs* ahem...well..I ish kinda hyper :) so yea...BYE BYE FOR NOW :)))))))))))))))
"My personal opinion is that you do not have What it takes "
-Kristen Chenoweth (Glinda)

perple's picture

HEY!!!!!!!

I read it all! Hoorah undying respect! And shyeah, you are so not the youngest one here... most are in high school-college if I understand correctly, and people keep saying there was a 10-year-old on once. So yeah, go figure. And with the whole posting late at night thing? Check out my journals from a few weeks ago. Journaling until 3:00 in the morning! Yeah! History project! But seriously, I went insane. Me in extreme sleep-deprivation is not fun. But yeah. This girl sounds uber-confused, and that is as simple as I see it. I sympathize, though. I felt the same way about a girl at the beginning of the year, but not so extreme as crying. But definitely wanting to touch her, and yeah *blush* I second RegretShouldntExist!!!! Welcome to Oasis!!!!!!!!!!! PM me anytime!!!!!!!!

Zephyr's picture

Welcome

Yay! I get your undying respect 'cause I read that.
Anyway, I'm sorry that your crush isn't cooperating. That sucks. I agree with Perple's assessment that she's confused. And as for my opinion, if she doesn't know what she wants, then I wouldn't pursue it. It can get kind of messy. Friends are always good though.

I hope the rest of your summer is good though. And if you want to talk more you can always message me. xD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you meet your fortune teller?
...
Do it up, it's always stellar
---RHCP

ShowMeLove's picture

Welcome to Oasis!!

I think everybody else has given you some good advice about the girl trouble you've got going on. So, I won't repeat them by saying the same thing. I do hope your situation does get better, though :)

On the Nintendo DS/Animal Crossing side of things I might be able to help a little. As far as what YOUR character looks like here's a face guide to help you determine what your character ends up looking like : (http://www.animalxing.com/faceguideww.php).... And now I'm re-reading what you wrote and you probably mean you don't like the other animals in your town, right? Okay for that, I've heard if you keep hitting them over the head with your net they'll eventually move away. It's mean, yes. But hey, if you don't like them... :D

And that really sucks that your DS isn't lasting long. Have you had it for a long time? If so, maybe the battery has just been recharged too many times. You can look into having the battery replaced. My doesn't last as long as it did when I first got it either...and it really Really sucks.