I just couldn't take the hurt again, what a feeling.

Human101's picture

Today I've done absolutely nothing productive. I've been sitting here on this computer fixing shit. I need to pack, I need to do my laundry, I need to find out who I'm getting a ride from tomorrow, I need to do a lot of things. I have no want to do any of those though. I want to relax and hangout with my friends, I want to go work and earn money, I want to pretend I'm a musician and write songs all day.

I guess this is where you realize your priorities right?

Tomorrow is going to be hectic, really hectic. I'm covering for my brother at work for an hour, it ends up that M works that day too. So I'll have to repeat my goodbye...awesome. I think I kind of accepted his offer because she was working and I knew she was, plus I really need the money. Right after he shows up I'm saying my FINAL goodbye, getting my bags and leaving then and there. I'm so ready for Virginia, Maryland is boring me lately. Plus, once everyone leaves for college there will basically be nothing here for me to look forward too. Ah the future is so confusing. I'm going to make a vision board one of these days. You basically make a board of things you really want in life. Mines going to consist of: the word LOVE, money, passion, traveling, beaches, a nice house, a picture of Mallory (M), and random things that I would like in the future. Hopefully this board will work. It's worked for my mom, twice. I'm actually excited to make this board, not gonna lie.

My brothers boyfriend read my "online journal", I let him. He said I should be a writer. I don't think I'm interesting enough, not yet at least. Give me a couple more years, couple more girls, a little more drugs and alcohol, and maybe I'll produce a Oprah worthy biography. Until then, I'm just going to stick with this.

Oh speaking of writing and songs/ poems, this show "Taking the Stage" (I love this show), the one boy Aaron wrote a song for Mia, the girl he liked, and it was an awesome song. I kept watching it to get the lyrics. I finally got them and these are them:

My bodies full of these butterflies,
so wound up I can't close my eyes,
I climb a top a mountain while your at home counting,
all the guys and all the girls,
all the things that confuse my world,
I just want some time with you,
just me and you,
all alone with you,
I will always be there for you,
you are all I need,
you pierce me with arrows making my sore heart bleed,
whenever I try to say that I love you,
I get stuck on my words and I fall right back down,
I just want to tell you that I love you,
I love you but the words come out wrong.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I absolutely adore this song.