ideal.

Icarus's picture

she was my ideal woman. a few years older, not too-tall, with a dancer's slim figure. porcelain skin, not-quite-flush features with blistering blue eyes and dark hair. she had a nervous smile and a voice that all but personified irony.

she was outwardly lovely, but a pathological liar, a manipulative bitch, and crazy to boot.

my ideal woman.

this is not fiction, this is my own personal reality. this girl, a woman now, probably shaped my taste for women more than anyone else on the earth. and yes, that includes L.

i was drawn to her like a fly to honey, just like every other artistic boy or girl in the entire school. she was an ethereal flame shooting up from the fumes of a troubled mind. so vulnerable. so gentle. like a broken razor. handle her the wrong way, and you lose blood.

she's back in town. i thought i saw her in the store one day, and like a hound sniffing an old scent, i wandered through the aisles (amy, if you're reading this, you probably remember me doing this. the hot girl in target?)

i saw her for sure in the mall yesterday. she looked so arrestingly....normal, leaning against the railing, speaking into a cellphone. we caught glances for a moment and she gave me a nervous smile. there's no way she recognized me. i've traveled so far from the introverted, naive little punk that was my 9th grade year.

ever since i saw her, though, i can't get her out of my mind. her face, her smile, it keeps haunting me. what it meant. in an alternate world....what could've been.

Comments

loreonpravus's picture

was...and so it could have

was...and so it could have never been...

I'm getting this connection here, from something, someone from my own life. But I haven't seen her, and I doubt I will anytime soon.

ReinbowGrl's picture

so because you like 'em

so because you like 'em crazy you act crazy?? thats logical. not!

- - - - - - - -
Grow tall sugarcane, eat that soil, drink the rain. But know that they'll chase you if you play their little games. So run, run fast, sugarcane.

Siovampire's picture

wow...that's....whoa...

wow...that's....whoa...