ShowMeLove's picture

waking up to the sound of a slamming door, while thinking it was a dream, you leave your bedroom and see a bedroom door closed (that is ALWAYS open) and can hear your mom crying on the other side of that door....

That's the start of my morning, sounds fun doesn't it?, now my dad has not only made me cry this week(albeit out of frustration), he's made my mom cry too. He probably cut her down made her feel like crap, you know, the things that are becoming all too familiar these days.

You know things were getting better for a while there, a few months ago, they were hardly ever fighting. It was nice. But now I think it's getting bad again because my dad's home ALL THE TIME. He isn't working and he's finished the workshop/placement he was doing for the previous few months. My mom seems to think his recent behavior is caused by him being around this "new' friend of his. My mom doesn't like this guy at all and she says she gets bad vibes off of him. I'm not sure if it's because of this guy, but it could be. I think it's just that he's home doing nothing all the time now, which tends to up the anty on the amount of fights they have.

I just wish he'd at least try and get a job that way he'd be making money and he'd be out of the house. Cause I think me and my mom are getting seriously to the end of our rope with this crap.

I think my mom would actually leave him now, you know, before there wasn't really anyway she could. But now, it's like he's not even helping bringing money home and we don't rely on him really for anything anymore. We used to have to rely on him to drive us wherever we needed to go, which btw was hell, but now since we've been forced to take the bus, because we lost our van, it's like finally some independence from him. Anyways, so basically we don't rely on him for anything anymore and we're the better for it. I think if my dad pushes it enough my mom may actually leave him. Which I'm not sure how that would go, I'm not sure if my dad would let her leave or be able to live without her. He's threatened to leave so many times during fights that it's getting old, but I don't think he'd actually ever do it.

Anyways, I'm just thankful I've got the internet (and Oasis) so I can get away from it and get it all down, someday I'll look back on it. And thanks all of you guys for reading and commenting on my last journal. Your suggestions were great!



wheels148's picture

good morning sweetheart

good morning sweetheart thats a pretty shitty way to start your day you know i am here if you need me :)
Mothers, tell your children: be quick, you must be strong. Life is full of wonder, love is never wrong. Remember how they taught you, how much of it was fear. Refuse to hand it down - the legacy stops here. ~Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy," Yes I A