In Which I Fail at Everything

the mouse that roared's picture

So I'm in a foreign language intensive this summer, taking scads and scads of elementary Hindi. All of my Hindi-class friends have left for the weekend, so I'm a bit at loose ends. Saturday night I go over to my distant cousin's house for dinner with his family. A cute family night on the whole. I get back to my coop and there are people on the porch. My next door neighbor--Dalia--has invited some of her friends over. There's a guy sitting on a couch on the other end of the porch who launches into a graphic story about masturbation. Then a graphic story about a (taken) woman he hooked up with in an alley the night before, using ridiculous and degrading epithets for sex, women and genitalia. Then a story about a foursome he got kicked out of (where his main complaint is that he only gave to a woman and didn't get any back, and where his main worry was that we knew he didn't have any interest in the other penis in the bed). Then a story about a man who was paid to have sex with a transwoman (he called it the "Tranny Trap" or something equally offensive and ridiculous), and who freaked out when she had a penis but then was "duped" into having sex with her anyway because he was given more money.

I kept making sarcastic comments--"I was so worried about your heterosexuality" "Oh, sure, it must have been so degrading to have sex with an attractive transwoman"--but I didn't exactly handle it so well. I got up and left, and when he said "I'm sorry if I was offensive" I said, "That's OK."

I'm glad I so passively contributed to transphobia and homophobia everywhere. I'm glad that after five years of being out, I can still cower in the face of prejudice.


lamb_da's picture


i think you did well *huggles*

fox333's picture

Well, sometimes you just

Well, sometimes you just don't know what to say.

Zephyr's picture

*Hugs* It's not your fault

*Hugs* It's not your fault this guy was a douche, and it's not your responsibility to sit him down and take care of that. Don't feel bad. Like Fox said, you don't always have the right thing to say right then and there.
Did you meet your fortune teller?
Do it up, it's always stellar

the mouse that roared's picture


Aw, thanks guys. I talked to some of my friends about it, and to Dalia, who was trying to quiet me down, and I feel a bit better about it. I do think I got the message across. Maybe the next time I can get the message across in a more dignified and effective way.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. --Anais Nin

jacjessen90's picture


given the plot and cast, you didn't cause as much drama as you think you did, i think you were very dignefied.(since i would have just lost it and either screamed and/or hit him and/or burst into frustrated tears)

"may we meet always in happy circumstances, may the saddest day of your future be better than the happiest day of your past,& may you get all of your wishes but one,so you still have something to work for!"~ irish blessing

the mouse that roared's picture

Aw, well thanks! :) And the

Aw, well thanks! :)

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. --Anais Nin