So I'm in a foreign language intensive this summer, taking scads and scads of elementary Hindi. All of my Hindi-class friends have left for the weekend, so I'm a bit at loose ends. Saturday night I go over to my distant cousin's house for dinner with his family. A cute family night on the whole. I get back to my coop and there are people on the porch. My next door neighbor--Dalia--has invited some of her friends over. There's a guy sitting on a couch on the other end of the porch who launches into a graphic story about masturbation. Then a graphic story about a (taken) woman he hooked up with in an alley the night before, using ridiculous and degrading epithets for sex, women and genitalia. Then a story about a foursome he got kicked out of (where his main complaint is that he only gave to a woman and didn't get any back, and where his main worry was that we knew he didn't have any interest in the other penis in the bed). Then a story about a man who was paid to have sex with a transwoman (he called it the "Tranny Trap" or something equally offensive and ridiculous), and who freaked out when she had a penis but then was "duped" into having sex with her anyway because he was given more money.
I kept making sarcastic comments--"I was so worried about your heterosexuality" "Oh, sure, it must have been so degrading to have sex with an attractive transwoman"--but I didn't exactly handle it so well. I got up and left, and when he said "I'm sorry if I was offensive" I said, "That's OK."
I'm glad I so passively contributed to transphobia and homophobia everywhere. I'm glad that after five years of being out, I can still cower in the face of prejudice.