I'm sitting here coming to the realization that your leaving in 11 days. I don't know how I'm going to react to be honest. I know I'm going to be depressed, or saddened, but I'm hoping it isn't as bad as it sounds.
This last week has been amazing. Working with you and visting you while you work (sorry for distracting you :]). I remember the one night that we had both been drinking and you were way more drunk then I was; we ended up making out in the side room. Before that though you had been all over me and trying to kiss me, I refused to kiss you because I thought it was morally incorrect to kiss a drunk person while sober. So I drank. You probably don't remember standing in the doorway holding on too one another, you falling down of course, and me just catching you. Then you asked me one question I will never forget, you asked me to "Hold you forever", and I replied that "I'd never let you fall." To this day I stand by those words. Even if your 3,000 miles away, I will always be here for you. I wish I could say these things to you personally, and I will probably end up attempting too and making a really big fool out of myself, but I think it's worth it. I hope you remember about our movie "hangout?"(not too sure if it's a date, even though she keeps saying the word, Date.) this weekend. I wish you'd call me first because I want to know that you want to spend time with me as much as I would with you.
I've liked you for over a year, I liked you the moment I met you, and that was only a quick "hey". All I can say is, " I'm pretty happy when I'm kicking back with you." 5 Years Time ( by Noah and the Whales) will be the song that reminds me of you, everytime. I will always think if this song is describing us, yours and mine relationship, in five years time will we even know eachother? In five years time will we even speak? In five years time will we even get along? Or will you prove me wrong? I'm praying that you prove me horribly wrong.
I wish we could've met sooner, I wish we had more time, I wish you weren't leaving and going to California, I wish that at one point you cared for me the way I cared for you. I'm living off this optimism and hoping that one day it will become my reality. I don't love you, I don't think I can love you, I'm too scared to love you. I care so much about you though, and I don't think you know one bit of it. <3
College may be our reunion, if I end up going to University of California-Santa Cruz, until then I hope you think of me and our memories together, especially with Earl Gray ;) I may not have to wait a full 5 years to fufill the songs lyrics, it might just be two. I guess we will have to wait and see....