Possable my longest poem ever, for now it is titleless

Fiona Rosge's picture

No...I shall not make the first move,
Because as we all know a good chess player never moves first
And the opponent will willing fall into this dance,
No...I shall not move my queen
Because while you were saying that you loved me
Your lips were on another,
And we all know what jealous can do,
It can turn the soilders greatest weapon into a raving loon
While they were standing in position
Awaiting for the call
He was out in the garden,
With tweleve drinks or more,
Crying to Ms. Pennington that the wedding was simply forced,
And while the rest went into action, guns a'waited high,
You king was rolling on dead flowers, breath against the neck,
Skirts tosed against the chest,
And while he went in for his prize
On the feild came a battle cry
So no...I shall not move my queen,
Because we all know the jealousy from someone who enterveens,
And yes, I know you shall not take your role,
Because while I saying that I loved you,
My hands were on another,
Except I understood I'd go no fearther then a few meanless touches
And No...my King shall not serender
Because while I a'waited in my chamber
He was there with his lover,
And I was not the girl he was sleeping with,
So was there any gain for me?
To move my helpless horse and relinqush my queen?
No! There was no prize to win
So while my dream girl dances in my head,
Sleeping with whoever she pleases
I have remained the good little girl
And slowly begged for ease
And no...
This shall not be easy,
Because this game is not over, and I still have players in,
And all the people I could wish to date me have there arms around another,
Yes....
Every
Single
One.
There is the girl from my dreams, the one I shall never give up,
Though honestly I have been waiting and she has disapered into dust,
And yes there is you, but I have no oppinion for now,
For all I want to do is jump into that twister and collapse
Yes that would be easier then thinking of you...
Yes and then there is him, who so easily knows the caresses and strokes...some men get all the luck, knowing how to win a ladys heart,
And then theres her, the one I can never have, and shall never go after. And while in my dream I play with her, she shall remain no more,
Always...my best friend.
I shall drop down my armer
And lace up my corset
Slide up my stockings,
And muss my hair up,
Slip on my skirt and pop on my shoes
Because I am sick of the game
They say diamonds are a girls best friend
So maybe it would be better to do it her way--
The king stood on his mighty horse,
Looking down at the young girl in purple,
With dirt intertwined in her hair, and mud marks on her face,
She curtsied dropping flowers
And all he did was stare at her in disgust,
And a man bend down, and yanked her up,
Tight enough to remind her of this day when she was lacing corsets,
Flying her off to the castle,
Where the king would have is way with her
And she grew up,
Learning it is better to sleep with those who want you,
And await the punishment later,
Then to be beaten and die on the street
To relinquish self control,
No only my innocence want it,
And it has no logic at all...
Pin up my wig,
And tighten my wings,
Lace at the fingers, toes and strings,
Yes this is who I am this week....
And while I wish to be pounding down charie,
Elogently drinking wine,
I shall teach myself to play instead,
And hope the the music keeps me sane,
For I'm tired of waiting for another day,
I shall just commit myself to this loony bin
And call us even,
For I only want those I can not have,
And that shall make it interesting growing up,
But maybe THEY are all I'll ever need,
I shall live through them,
Is that not what you told me to do with you once?
And what a shame the music never got to play,
Oh well I shall find better things to do,
And yes I am still angry,
What did you expect?
Is it fare to say you used me?
No probably not, because maybe you still love me,
But it doesn't matter now,
Even I know affairs are fun,
Not that we are in one.
So no...I shall not make the first move,
This shall just have to be good enough for you.

Comments

Zephyr's picture

First of all... holy shit.

First of all... holy shit. I'm going to say I'm sorry again and that I do love you. But I can't be in a relationship with you, it's not fair to you. You live too far away for me to give you what you deserve. And I'm sorry that you feel like you poured your heart out to me, I care for you and respect you deeply, but that doesn't mean it's easy for me either. I know you don't necessarily want to hear this when I say that you will find someone that treats you how you deserve to be treated because you are a wonderful individual. Because I truly believe that someone is out there waiting for you. So please trust me on that. I can't give you what I feel like you deserve which is the attention and the affection. I'm sorry, I really really am. I hope that you can forgive me for screwing this up. And if though you're still mad at me, you've managed to turn that anger into something creative. And even if that poem is about hating me or whatever negative feelings you have for me, I still find it to be elegant, and well put together. You have a way with words and I'm glad you're getting some use of your talent.

I just kind of wish you wouldn't hate me. I feel like I'm trying to save you from the pain of not being able to be there on your birthday, or to be a shoulder to cry on when you have bad days. I feel like I'm trying to do the mature thing (even if it doesn't sound like it with my ex.. that's kind of a different issue though... sorry about that one again) and not hurt you because I do care about you. I feel like you're entitled to your own opinion though. I hope you see this when you're maybe not as angry at me.
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Did you meet your fortune teller?
...
Do it up, it's always stellar
---RHCP

Fiona Rosge's picture

hm

I do...and it all makes sence, I can't even decided if it took me to long or to short to get over this though. Whatever it was in length the outcome was a lot less brutal then I thought it would be. I didn't want to hurt you with this poem, but it was the only way I knew how to get over my anger, its the only way I have been thought. And I almost felt like I was angry for to long, because I was fighting against nothing. I thought...it was another betrail...and god two weeks later I did what I thought you did to me. Haha pain is a twisted thing.
Just everythings been so wrong and I don't understand any of it. I'm so sorry, for I took all of it, every last word and used it against you, twisted it in a way that wasn't even relavent, in a way that SHE use to do. When there was no reason for it and that makes me no better then she is. Maybe this is exactly why I am still single. Apparently its suppost to be easy. It was only ever easy with him, you and JT. I think I'm crazy....listen to Willow by Emilie Autumn, at least some of it is relavent, I find a lot of it in myself, though you may not see it...
I feel like I should say more and I have no idea what, after reading that, I'm just sort of hollow, I would like to be crying because it feels like the appropreate thing to do but I'm not sure I'm allowed that. Funny I crave love so much and I come close but its never real, always twisted. I only want people I can't have...I'm completly self distructive and I don't know how to stop it...
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Come Josephine in my flying machine
Going up she goes up she goes
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes there she goes
Up, up, a little bit higher
Oh, my, the moon is on fire
Good-by