Alright, I didn't think that I could be any more resentful to the Puritanical society that I'm forced to live in....until now. I am watching Taboo on National Geographic International. This is fucking INSANE! In India, there is a tiny village where there is a "third gender" called a Heedra. They are men who, either because of feminine characteristics or just choice, become women. Even though they are seen as social outcasts, they have strong ties to each other and fight for equality much like we do here.
Also, in Indonesia, there's a village that recognizes 5 genders! There's men and women, and then there's the hermaphrodite (spelling?). These Beesu, as they are called, are seen as the most holy of people and held as high priests because they can pull on the powers of both the male and female influences. Then there are the traditional men who dress and live as women and vice versa. They have interviews with all of these people and one man (well....he was born a woman) said "I feel safe as a ____. I feel comfortable and so does my family." I don't remember the actual titles for these genders but this program...the words of these people....they're so...wonderful.
They speak about how...if there is separation between the genders, chaos and destruction will overcome the world. Love and peace between them is the only way for there to be harmony throughout the world.
These Heedras are seen as outcasts and less than dirt...but they're so beautiful. These men, who can only take solace in one another are beautiful. Then the people in Indonesia...they love one another no matter what they wear or whom they choose to love.
Being gender confused myself...this program is really hitting home. I feel so lost and confused. I have a body of a woman. But when I look at the bodies of the men around me....I think..."I want that. I want to be that." And even though I'm not ashamed of myself...I'm ashamed of the people in this country. We have to "earn" the right to wed whom we love. We "have to choose" a gender. When someone looks at me and sees my breasts and hourglass hips, they argue me on who I am. I say that I feel more comfortable when I bind my chest, when I wear baggy T-shirts and spike my hair. They tell me to "get comfortable with what I got, cuz I got a lot" *cue body scan*
I feel like a Heedra. I feel handsome and sexy when I flex my biceps and wear my boxers. I feel stupid and awkward when I walk into a girl's locker room and hear the whispers behind my back. I was born this way. I want to be that way. And if I have to be a Heedra, then so be. We are beautiful no matter what we say we are. Whether you look at your breasts and admire their beauty or damn their very existance; you are beautiful. Whether you run your hands over your flat muscular chest and think that you're a lady killer, or you pray for them to suddenly grow round and luscous; you are beautiful.
All are beautiful!