So, my sister was planning to have a winter wedding in January but has now decided to change it because of the way that the economy is and everything. So, now she's aiming for next summer. Now here's what I've been thinking about the past few months. I've been thinking how nice it would be to have someone to go with to the wedding, seeing as I'm going to be a bridesmaid and all. It would just be really cool to share the experience and all the romanticness that is weddings. The last wedding I went to was my oldest sister's and that was 9 years ago and before I knew I was gay. I was pretty young then and so the whole taking a date thing wasn't even an issue or a want for me. But now I'm 21 and I know who I'm attracted to. So, the game has changed. Although, in order for me to have that amazing dream come true I have to find a girl and fall in love or at least fall in like :P and I also have to come out to my family. Yeah....
I totally just lost my train of thought....Umm, my whole crazy dream for that wedding is that it would be nice to have someone there by my side. You know? Even better if we were in love. Mostly I'd look forward to the part after the wedding where everybody gets to dance. How amazing would it be to share that? I think dancing is romantic and a way to connect with a people. I think watching Dirty Dancing at a young age cemented that idea for me. Cause ever since I've always seen slow dancing and even the "dirty" dancing as a romantic thing to do. Just to hold someone in your arms and look into their eyes and nothing else really matters at that moment.
I think it would be amazing to be there amongst all of my family and feel like I'm accepted. Like it's normal and perfectly fine. For them to be happy that I am happy. And yes, I remember that this day would be my sister's big day which it totally is. I would never do anything to spoil it in anyway. I just think if at that point I was with someone I cared about and I brought them to the wedding it would be a pretty special day for me too. I mean, everyone else will be bringing their dates I see no reason that I should be any different just because I'm gay.
I do wonder as well how my other family would react if I were to come with a girl. I rarely see my aunts and uncles. I basically never see my cousins. My grandmothers I see a couple times a year, use to see them more often but not so much now. I know that my grandmothers go to church. One of them (My mom's mom) is kinda stuck up and made my mom cry months ago with her attitude, long story. My mom still hasn't got over it. And she also never came to my other sister's wedding cause they live like 2 hours away and they don't like to drive that far or in traffic or something like that, I forget now. She'd probably disagree with my "choices" as she'd call them.
The other I like so much. She has really helped my parents and probably everybody else in her family at one point or another. She keeps in touch with my brother who is mentally ill. She's a great person but I have absolutely no clue what her view is on gay people. She's in her 80s and goes to church every Sunday. I don't think those are good signs. The rest of the relatives I could care less what they think. All the people on my mom's side seem kinda stuck up except I don't think my mom's brother is too bad.
I'm so tired now. I need lotandlots of sleep. Good night all :)