How old were you when you came out?

FreedomUniversal's picture

I was 19 when I came out. My friends said they thought I should have came out sooner, but I guess the timing didn't feel right. I don't regret coming out at 19, but I realize now that had I done so sooner I would have been much more happier through the awkward and demanding teenage years. I am just luck my friends and family accept me for who I am.

Does anybody think age makes a difference when coming out? Do you think a person should be out by the time they are in college?

I personally believe one cannot put a timer on this sort of thing. For each person the circumstances are different, families are different, cultures are different. Coming out, for most, is a huge step towards becoming ones true self.



Icarus's picture

i came out when i was about

i came out when i was about 13 or 14, just because I felt like it was time. i don't think it matters when you come out, even though kids are coming out earlier and earlier these days...sometimes it takes a while to figure out who you are and sexuality's just a part of it...

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

FreedomUniversal's picture

Thanks for the input, BTW I

Thanks for the input, BTW I like the quote you included =)

jacjessen90's picture


you could come out at 9 or 19 or 90 if it takes that long to be sure of yourself....but that is the only requirement, that you be sure of yourself and beleave that the time is right....
i cam out @ 9 years old, to both myself and my friend at the same time, and this was because he asked me in a way that i knew i could trust, and that wasn't judgemental, after i told him he came out to me, and we dated for a few years....
~end of 'fairy tale'~*smiles*
"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez addams

newt's picture

Nobody should be out if they

Nobody should be out if they don't want to be.

Me? like 12 to a friend, but nobody else has any knowledge.
Two wrongs make a right...winger.

Icarus's picture

Amen to that. I hate it when

Amen to that. I hate it when people out other people when they don't want to be outed. Especially public figures. Even if they're hypocrites.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

will's picture

I agree.

Age don't matter. Everyone varies. I openly came out this year, when I was 16, although everyone around me probably suspected anyways.

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

FreedomUniversal's picture

I think most around me

I think most around me suspected too.


carmen143's picture

I came out at 14.

To a friend.
Then to a few friends.
Then after 4 or 5 months I came out to my immediate family.
Still haven't tackled extended family yet though.
And coming out can happen at any age. It depends on how confident you are in your sexual identity.
<3 FLAME ON! <3

loreonpravus's picture


At first, I kind of came out to a friend that I was bi. Then about a year after that, I got caught up in this fiasco where I was outed (13 by then) to my parents. After that, going into high school, I just didn't give a damn, and everybody figured it out, so I ran around with a flashing neon sign proclaiming my gayness.

My little bro still doesn't know though. I wouldn't be out to my family at all if it wasn't for that damn youth worker.

cantbreathe's picture

13... sort of

I started figuring it out myself when I was 13, told a couple friends I thought I might be lesbian, but I didn't really get what it meant then, or the impact it would have on my life and the way people viewed me. I'm 15 now, and I'd say it's only in the last six months or so that I've really started to understand and be comfortable with my sexuality. I'm still not really out to everyone, especially not my dad, but the people I really care about know, and I think that's what matters.