I am SO fucking pissed I can't see straight.

Lyexsah's picture

Words can't even fucking DESCRIBE how angry I am. At my situation, at fucking CORY the sonofafuckingbitch and at my supposed "friend". What's worse is I really can't even talk about it because I'd make him feel bad and even if that made me happy now I'd feel like a sorry piece of shit the moment I wasn't angry at him anymore; but I can't say anything because he's on THIS site and I wouldn't dare say shit like that in front of everyone. And I'm not the only one that's mad; I told a friend who doesn't even know him what he said and she said she'd break his nose if she ever met him.

I WANT TO SCREAM.

And assuming you read this Zack, I am NOT talking to you. You and your boyfriend "fiancee" have fun.

Comments

Lyexsah's picture

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGE

NO P.L.U.R. TODAY

Icarus's picture

um, not to stoke the fire

um, not to stoke the fire even further, but wouldn't this be something best left out of the public view? this sounds like a private discussion, not something to be aired for everyone to witness.

so for those of you falling in love
keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right
throw yourself in the midst of danger
and keep one eye open at night.
--"Elephants" Rachel Yamagata

Lyexsah's picture

Probably so.

But at the moment I don't really care; no other way to let him know that I'm absolutely serious. If you knew what he said you'd probably be pissed at him too, but I wouldn't go as far as to get OTHER people mad at him.

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NO P.L.U.R. TODAY.

Peregrine's picture

Geeee, . . . sorry for

Geeee, . . . sorry for trying to HELP! You need to learn to calm down every once in awhile. In case you didn't know, You have CONTROL ISSUES! way to spoil my good mood... I don't care anymore. Do whatever makes you happy, but don't IM me or try calling me ever. I won't awnser. I'm tired of all the bipolar shit, especially when I get burned for it.

"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite into my Veins! Never did I wanna be here again, and I don't remember why I came."

Lyexsah's picture

FUCK YOU

Telling me the problems MY FAMILY is having are unimportant is NOT helping no matter WHAT GODDAMN PLANET YOU LIVE ON. How is being pissed off because your comparing MY FAMILY going BANKRUPT, almost losing our CAR and my parents having no JOB to you losing a BOYFRIEND in ANY WAY UNREASONABLE?!

Ashley says:
You wouldn't be fucking saying that if it were you Zack! If it were you you'd be all mopey and bitchy for a month! You do that if your boyfriend fucking breaks up with you!
Aaron says:
yeah i would if he broke up with me. MY DAD WAS UNEMPOIED FOR 9 MONTHS ANF WE WERE LIVING OFF A TEACHER'S SALERY FOR NEARLY A YEAR AND BARELY MDE IT!
I didn't mope about it

Yeah Zack, that really fucking cheers me up, saying it's alright for you to be an asshole for a month straight because your boyfriend breaks up with you but it's not okay for me to be upset for a DAY because my life is going to hell.

and you are NOT EVEN one to talk about bipolar; this isn't me being bipolar, this is my fucking LIFE. If it weren't for family we would be HOMELESS right now, do you NOT understand that?

I've lived in cars and a homeless shelter before, I don't want to go back there Zack, it's not the life I want to live. No one does. I want my family to have the white picket-fence life my mom's been chasing for years. I WANT us to be happy. I want things to turn around, and I want to have the money to go to college so I can give my prospective children the life I didn't have, but I really don't think we're going to make it Zack, I really don't. If you lived the life I have you would fucking understand, but you don't.

And therein lies the problem. You referred to me as our 'best friend' yesterday. Best friends are more understanding, willing to listen and deal with you for who you are. All that matters to you is your own goddamn feelings, I had hope though that just once it wouldn't be. You're not a best friend.

You're a fairweather friend.

And now to me you're nothing.

Peregrine's picture

GOOD! FUCK YOU TOO! I TOLD

GOOD! FUCK YOU TOO! I TOLD YOU NEARLY 5 MONTHS AGO THAT WE WERE BANKRUPT! FUCK OFF! DEAL WITH IT AND GROW UP!

"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite into my Veins! Never did I wanna be here again, and I don't remember why I came."

Lyexsah's picture

You are the most uncaring

You are the most uncaring unfeeling human being I've ever met, and that's saying a LOT considering who my mom was married to for four years.

You know what the difference is? When you told me, I tried to make you feel better, said as much as I could to make you feel better, empathized, dealt with your bad moods as well as I could. I did what any real friend would do. I actually cared.

And maybe I should tell you why, or you'll never understand.

I loved you Zack. Honestly, I thought I was IN LOVE with you. I hoped and prayed every day that maybe you'd return the feelings, even though I KNEW damn good and well you were gay. I never though the person who made me feel so happy, who I looked foreward to seeing all day long, the one person who I felt like understood and accepted me, and the only thing that made me go day to day without wanting to kill myself.

I never thought YOU of all people could be so callous; and that our friendship would end because I wanted sympathy for the fact that my life is crumbling before my eyes. This is what I fucking get for trusting people again.

Peregrine's picture

I have always been hard.

I have always been hard. Welcome to seeing the real me. Mat has mellowed me out a lot, but to most other people I don't give a damn till I trust them.

"I'm not the one who's so far away, when I feel the snake bite into my Veins! Never did I wanna be here again, and I don't remember why I came."

Lyexsah's picture

I disagree

The real you was calm, caring, relaxed when not around others. It's when you think others are looking you put on this hardass façade. It just pushed people away, but I guess you don't really care about it.

I don't think you understand how heartbroken I am right now.

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NO P.L.U.R. TODAY

ferrets's picture

i hate anger....

of course i have a very high tolerence of anger, i generally cry before i get angrey....

love is when you think about them twice for every other thought...or is that obsession? is there a differnce beetween those two things?

Lyexsah's picture

Well

Now I'm crying. Mostly 'cause I'm angry and I have nothing to do with all my rage. I guess I'll just go back to bottling it all up so it can fester and in five years or so it'll resurface and I'll be contemplating suicide.

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NO P.L.U.R. TODAY

ferrets's picture

sigh....

i didnt mean to put it like that. i wasnt...i didnt mean to...sorry, i fukced up on that one...

love is when you think about them twice for every other thought...or is that obsession? is there a differnce beetween those two things?

Lyexsah's picture

I don't

think you fucked up. I understood what you meant. :P

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NO P.L.U.R. TODAY.