I've been talking to my mother more lately. In fact, she's been talking more to my uncle, too. I thought it was strange how she was suddenly...in touch. See, my mom was never there unless it suited her interests. She abandoned all of her children.
Now, she's back (well she's states away, but she's talking to us again). And I thought, maybe this time she actually wants to make good.
But I just don't know. I hate not knowing about her. I mean, she gave birth to me, you know? I owe her my life. But she's just been so undependable that I get scared putting any faith in her.
Well, I found out she wants to move back down here. She's talking about getting a bus ticket to come down. There is only one problem. She doesn't have a place to stay.
That is where my uncle comes in. He just bought a large, nice house for his family. We think she's planning on asking him to let her stay there when she comes back. And what worries me, is my uncle won't tell her 'no'. Like me, he still has the strength to believe in her, just a little bit, and also like me, he can't bear to see her on the streets any more.
But he has kids. And she has a past. One that she hasn't gotten by, yet. It worries us that she could bring danger into that house, because of her bad past. Running with Hells Angels, Dealers, all that. People she owes money here.
I know I shouldn't be talking about this in public, most likely, but I've already met so many friendly people on here, and I don't know. I'm an easy truster...and I can't talk about stuff like this to the people I'm around most. My family and another girl I love like a sister who is...a little judgemental. So I wanted to sort of let it out here,you know?
See, thing is, despite it all, I DO still love her dearly.
Despite it all, I DO still want her in my life.
And I still put faith in her.