New Here

cantbreathe's picture

I just joined this site, so I'm not really sure how things work around here, but I suppose a nice little situation synopsis would be a decent way to start. I'm heading off to boarding school in a couple months. It's a very nice school, relatively liberal, and the people are insanely friendly. My main worry is how to approach my sexuality. I'm lesbian, mostly (there was one guy, but other than him it's always been girls), and here at home, my group of friends all knew, it was general knowledge at school (although no one really cared), and, in essence, everyone knew except my parents. My dad is very conservative and homophobic, so I'm taking my sweet time on that one. At my new school, no one is going to know me, or who I am, or that I'm lesbian. It's a pretty small school, so I think I may have to either keep it a complete secret (which would suck), or just tell people if they ask. Problem is, I'm afraid to tell people, because I've had pretty bad experiences with a couple homophobic friends, and I don't want to become known as "the gay girl". I'd rather let my personality speak for itself, without everyone stereotyping. Any suggestions out there on how I could handle this?


TotalGeek42's picture

I'd say don't 'come out,'

I'd say don't 'come out,' just be yourself. When I say that I mean, you're already out, yeah? So don't make yourself go through the process again - if they ask, tell them, if they don't ask, don't tell them, and if you like a girl at school, ask her out. Don't act like it's a huge deal, but don't deny that part of you.

If that makes any sense. >>

"Assets, what are our assets?"

"Well I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves..."

tenmilestilts's picture

i agree with totalgeek42,

i agree with totalgeek42, and also welcome to oasis!
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

cantbreathe's picture


Thanks so much for the quick answers, means a lot. That plan seems logical, think I'll go with it.

Thanks, glad to be here :)

ferrets's picture


being out of the closet then going back in would be tough. btw do you like ferrets?

without ferrets, this world would be hell in a a hamster cage

ShowMeLove's picture


Welcome to Oasis!!

I would also have to agree with TotalGeek. It's probably best to let everybody get to know you first and then, yeah, if anyone asks and you feel comfortable in telling them, then tell them. That way you can also get a feel as to how they will react when you actually tell them you're gay.

Once upon a time I ripped the wings from my spine
But when I hide inside your eyes I still pretend that I can fly

carmen143's picture


Welcome! Glad to have another member of our little community.
And yeah just be yourself. Normally the best route to happiness. :)
<3 FLAME ON! <3

Alyska's picture


Welcome to Oasis!
And, I agree with them. *points upward* Just be yourself.

"When you can't walk you crawl, and when you can't do that you find someone to carry you" ~Firefly