So, she's known all along. W, the best friend I'm madly in love with. I've been trying for, what, a year and a half to hide it (although admittedly, I'm not the most subtle of people), but we hung out last night, and it went something like this....
So, after a few hours and a very awkward family dinner, S left, and then she grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the deck.
W: Okay, so what is going on?
I took my hand out of hers and tucked my hair behind my ears... couldn't think straight when she was touching me.
Me: What do you mean?
W: Bullcrap. This whole night, it's seemed like there's something you keep trying to say.
Me: (thinking: Yes, there is, I LOVE YOU) *shrug mumble* dunno.
W: *giving me a suspicious look* Okay then.
We talked a bit about me leaving for school, nothing special, and then her dad came and she went home.
A couple hours later, just as I'm falling asleep, she calls me.
Me: mmmmf hey.
W: Oh, jeez, did I wake you up?
Me: Nope. Wide awake. (and I was, as soon as I realized it was her)
W: So, um, anything you want to talk about?
Me: Umm, uh, yeah.
W: What's going on?
Me: Well, I, um, oookay. You were right... when you said... that... there was something... Iwastryingtosay.
Me: Yeah. But—No. I'm sorry, I just, it's just, it's better—If I don't. I can't.
W: Is this... something that's happened before? (explanation: She knew I liked her for a couple months last year, but she thought I'd gotten over it, and I didn't exactly say anything to change that idea.)
W: Last year?
Me: *looooong silence*
W: Ames? (nickname, my name is Amy)
Me: *deep breath* Yeah.
W: Oh. OH. Well. Alright then.
Me: I'm sorry—
W: Don't be! Really, it's fine, we've dealt with this before, we can handle it again.
W: So, is, ah, is contact a problem? (We've always been very touchy friends, lots of hand-holding, hugging, sharing chairs, all that)
Me: NO! I mean, uh, no. It's fine. I don't mind.
W: Okay. Good. What can I do to make this easier for you?
Me: Nothing, really, I mean, you know, I don't want this to change anything.
W: Don't worry, hun, it'll be fine.
Me: Thank you.
W: For what?
Me: Saying that. I needed to hear it.
W: No problem.
Me: So, um.
W: So, I'm gonna go to sleep, 'cause it's late, and I'm really tired, so yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, with S and J (guy she likes)?
W: Alright. G'night.
*she hangs up*
The end. I'm going over to her house in about 45 minutes, should be interesting, not to mention awkward...