Ohgodohgodohgod

cantbreathe's picture

So, she's known all along. W, the best friend I'm madly in love with. I've been trying for, what, a year and a half to hide it (although admittedly, I'm not the most subtle of people), but we hung out last night, and it went something like this....

So, after a few hours and a very awkward family dinner, S left, and then she grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the deck.
W: Okay, so what is going on?
I took my hand out of hers and tucked my hair behind my ears... couldn't think straight when she was touching me.
Me: What do you mean?
W: Bullcrap. This whole night, it's seemed like there's something you keep trying to say.
Me: (thinking: Yes, there is, I LOVE YOU) *shrug mumble* dunno.
W: *giving me a suspicious look* Okay then.

We talked a bit about me leaving for school, nothing special, and then her dad came and she went home.

A couple hours later, just as I'm falling asleep, she calls me.

Me: mmmmf hey.
W: Oh, jeez, did I wake you up?
Me: Nope. Wide awake. (and I was, as soon as I realized it was her)
W: So, um, anything you want to talk about?
Me: Umm, uh, yeah.
W: What's going on?
Me: Well, I, um, oookay. You were right... when you said... that... there was something... Iwastryingtosay.
W: Yeah...?
Me: Yeah. But—No. I'm sorry, I just, it's just, it's better—If I don't. I can't.
W: Is this... something that's happened before? (explanation: She knew I liked her for a couple months last year, but she thought I'd gotten over it, and I didn't exactly say anything to change that idea.)
Me: Yeah.
W: Last year?
Me: *looooong silence*
W: Ames? (nickname, my name is Amy)
Me: *deep breath* Yeah.
W: Oh. OH. Well. Alright then.
Me: I'm sorry—
W: Don't be! Really, it's fine, we've dealt with this before, we can handle it again.
Me: Yeah.
W: So, is, ah, is contact a problem? (We've always been very touchy friends, lots of hand-holding, hugging, sharing chairs, all that)
Me: NO! I mean, uh, no. It's fine. I don't mind.
W: Okay. Good. What can I do to make this easier for you?
Me: Nothing, really, I mean, you know, I don't want this to change anything.
W: Don't worry, hun, it'll be fine.
Me: Thank you.
W: For what?
Me: Saying that. I needed to hear it.
W: No problem.
Me: So, um.
W: Yeah.
*pause*
W: So, I'm gonna go to sleep, 'cause it's late, and I'm really tired, so yeah. I'll see you tomorrow, with S and J (guy she likes)?
Me: Yup.
W: Alright. G'night.
Me: G'night.
*she hangs up*
The end. I'm going over to her house in about 45 minutes, should be interesting, not to mention awkward...

Comments

carmen143's picture

Oh thats awkward.

It takes time but the awkwardness goes away eventually.
<3 FLAME ON! <3

will's picture

Your

friend sounds really nice. Good luck!

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.