Icarus's picture

watching What Not to Wear and Making Over America with Trinny & Susannah makes me feel like a horribly dressed bum.

Also I would make a sandwich with Trinny Woodall and Stacy London. A sexy sandwich.

I'm trying to be irreverent because i wouldn't know what to do otherwise. i'm watching my friends disappear into their little nooks and crannies, colleges and whatnot. i'm almost....missing what i never had. i never had unending groups of friends or......i dunno what i'm talking about. there are so many rants and ideas and sentences flowing through my head that i don't even know where to start. it's weird, knowing my sisters are going back to school and i'm not.

finally registered for my GED. gonna have to start studying up for that. pretty sure i'm just gonna go to the community college for a semester and then try to transfer to a four year university. so, fingers crossed.

my brain's not making sense anymore. i had a dream this morning about this girl i knew from high school, gorgeous girl, had a crush on her in 9th grade, beautiful, beautiful girl, amber-green eyes, sweet smile, full lips. i was dreaming i was at the computer, and she came and sat down on my lap, looks me in the eye, says something about her lying, stinking boyfriend, and kisses me. again and again and again. i have extremely vivid dreams. i could feel her lips on mine. they were these brief, beautiful kisses. i tried to get her to hold still and just kiss me, but she kept leaning in and out, kissing me over and over again. and i hadn't even talked to her in...a while.

it was surreal. i can't even begin to think of what it means.


Merric's picture

Dreams that have the sense

Dreams that have the sense of touch always stand out.

I think... I know a bit what you mean about missing what you never had, lacking the unending groups of friends, etc. There's something I've been thinking about for years but it's difficult to pin down, and it relates to this... thoughts are such shifty creatures.