PMS-ing the fuck out of this. Horribly shitty mood right now, everything is pissing me off to no end. My sisters, my computer, EVERYTHING.
on top of that, I have a fucking earache in both ears, my parents are completely confusing me with what they say and then what they do. I try to be an adult and take care of things like an adult, and then they tell me not to worry about it, they'll take care of it, and then when things pop up, I'm supposed to take care of it even though I'm not supposed to.
They tell me to get a job.
But if financial difficulties come up, they'll take care of it.
But I need to get a job.
On top of that, I need to get a job, but I don't have a car, and if my dad gets a job, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO MY JOB?!?
Not like anyone's hiring anyway.
In addition, they make me feel like the biggest bum on earth, and I'm pretty much treated worse than I was before I left.
I can't help but feel like they're punishing me somehow, for making the "wrong" decisions. I feel like a failure 'cause I can't even manage to follow through on anything.
I feel alienated from all of my friends because a.) I've already done the college thing and they're all excited about it and b.) the only friends I have who've already done the college thing too are leaving, one's already left and the ones who're staying who haven't done the college thing, save for two, aren't even people I associated with that much in the first place.
I am literally living out of my parents basement right now. I have become the person I used to make fun of.
GAAAHHHHH. on top of that, I'm having more symptoms than usual. I hate being a woman with a fiery passion.
I feel like doing something crazy. I feel like moving out and moving across the country. Away from everybody. Away from everything.