where are you this moment?...you're always a heartbeat from me...

stardust's picture

Listening to 'If I Could Be Where You Are' by Enya. We had my sister's bridal shower today, it was fun. I got no sleep last night, so I was running on fumes, soda, a sugar all day :-) and we had pettiefores (cake). It sucked that my sister had to leave not long after, I hardly see her anymore. Same with my friends, my best friend starts school this week and we never did get to hang out in the past two weeks. I totally understand that my friends and sister have their own cazily hectic lives, I just miss them. And lately I've wondered about best friends. I've always had one or two friends I consider 'besties' but I honestly don't know if I was ever anyone else's best friend. It's not that it that important, I just wondered about it. Because I've yet to make lifelong friends I connect to over more than childhoods and elementary and middle schools. I just want to make 'that friend', and that we can talk about anything together and do whatever, as long as we are together and having fun, you know?

I find that I'm usually the one trying to schedule things, make compromises, and get a hold of people. It just becomes exhausting after a while and I just wish someone would I know would stop and think of reversing it and making the effort. It's just times like these when I think I need to make some new friends, meet a new circle or whatnot. Does anyone else encounter this? Do you ever feel like your the one in your relationships constantly making the effort and left wondering how you went from friends to aquaintences? (My spelling sucks) I just wish I didn't have to try so hard sometimes. I'm socially awkward and shy, so making new friends and putting myself out there is hard. But I guess everything is harder this year, all around. Regardless, I vow to meet new people, Oasis peeps included, of course. I think Oasis counts, since I'm new here, pming and commenting, reading journals. Well I must sleep now.
-night Oasis

Comments

AlwaysFallingDeeper's picture

I know what youre going through.

The whole "who's my best friend?" thing. I've always liked to consider or think that L was my best friend. And she used to say the same. But lately it just feels like I dont have any friends at all. Yeah, I talk to them a few times a week but haven't hung out with them this summer. It's always like that. Together all the time during school, but when it gets out it's like they disappear. I can't really say I have a best friend. I don't think I do. The closest person to me is my girlfriend. And I like it that way. There's no need to have a best friend. Yes, it would be nice. But I would much rather have a wide range of close friends, than one close friend. Thats what I have. No "best friend". Just...amazing friends. But, like I said. We don't hang in the summer. Not a lot of people in my school continue to hang once it's summer vaca. Enough of my rambling...happy bestie hunting.

“Love's not a competition but I'm winning"